The Stag and The Hound
by SmutSmutSmut
Summary: James loved Lily. Everyone knew that. And yet...despite all of our efforts to deny our feelings for one another, to deny who we truly were...fate brought us together. JamesXSirius Implied JamesXLily. Read and Review! COMPLETE
1. Prologue

This is the first bit of writing done in awhile, based off a roleplay. Be gentle. Read and Review please!  
Enjoy!

The characters and places belong to J.K.R.

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The man sat at a desk in the corner, hunched over what appeared to be a thin, worn book that was losing its pages. Pressing a quill to his lip in thought, he leaned back and contemplated the book, running a tired hand through his thick shaggy black hair. Frowning, he dropped the quill next to his ink bottle and rose.

Now that he was standing, it was quite clear that this man was of a considerable height, with broad shoulders and a thin frame. He had long shaggy hair the color of a raven's feathers, and piercing steel blue eyes. His hair flopped into his eyes quite often; a problem solved by a quick toss of his head, an action that he was obviously long used to. His eyes and mouth were surrounded by premature wrinkles, the result of a previously quick-to-laugh face gone sullen and sad. His lips were thin, and more often than not, frowning. The man wore a thing black t-shirt and jeans, having abandoned the customary wizard's robes for something more casual from the Muggle wardrobe. All in all, Sirius Black looked worn, too old for his twenty-three years; as though time had passed slowly, and had been too harsh to him.

Sirius removed an open bottle from his refrigerator and poured some red liquid into a goblet, taking it with him back to his small desk in the corner. He sipped slowly at his wine, staring out the window at the cold rainy night thoughtfully. Sitting perfectly still for a moment, he allowed the rush of oncoming memories to overtake him, transporting him to places years before. Shaking himself away from his overwhelming thoughts, he put his wine down, picked up his quill, and began to write.

_I don't know why I fell in love with him...he was my best friend, a disastrous relationship waiting to happen. We were Padfoot and Prongs, that dynamic duo...the leaders of the schemers. James loved Lily. Everyone knew that. And yet...despite all of our efforts to deny our feelings for one another, to deny who we truly were...fate brought us together. Cruel fate, for it was not to be. Not then, not now. Five years have passed; that should be plenty enough time to get over him, enough time to heal my broken heart. And yet...the memories still haunt me, even today. The harder I try to block them, the harsher they become. Today was particularly bad...I remembered more than usual...such as how it all began. Today...these memories have driven me to wonder...what could have happened if it had gone differently? I am pulled into remembering again...in particular...the day I admitted to myself that I was in love with my best friend..._


	2. Chapter 1

This is the first offical Chapter after the prologue.  
Be gentle; I have not written anything in so long, I'm afraid I'm a bit rusty. 

Please Review, it's great to know what people are thinking and to supply feedback.  
Let me know if you want me to continue with the rest of the chapters.  
Enjoy!

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**Chapter 1**

The cloak billowed around his legs as he rushed quickly down the empty halls, glancing back slightly at the boys falling behind. His soft laughter filled the echoing hallway as he reached out and grabbed Sirius' hand dragging him along. "Come on you two. Sirius quit dragging your feet. We're all going to be late thanks to Wormtail." He shot him a withering glance and continued to drag the boy at his hand along with him. "Next time remember to wake us up, Wormtail, will you?" A very frustrated Remus, who had never been late to class, retorted.

Sirius yawned softly, running his hand through his tangled, shaggy black hair. "Not my fault Wormtail forgot to wake us." He let out another loud yawn and shuffled lazily behind James. "What class are we headed to anyways?" James turned and laughed at the blank expression plastered over Padfoots face. "Potions Sirius. Do you ever pay attention?" He gave Sirius a sly grin and glanced back at the other two marauders who were lagging behind. Sighing impatiently he pushed open the dungeon door halting abruptly. Grinning sheepishly at the vibrant red headed girl to his right, tutting and shaking her head towards the four boys, he took his rightful place beside her.

Sirius yawned shaking his head at the obviously annoyed Lily. "I think you can answer that one yourself James." He shook his hair from his face and flopped down into the chair behind James, pulling another out for Remus and leaving Peter to scurry off to find his own. The chair creaked as Sirius tilted back, crossing his legs and arms. He glanced around the crowded Potions class, as he did so he smirked softly at the girls watching as they blushed in turn. James turns back around to Sirius, putting his arms on his desk as he grinned up at the boy. "See anything you like Sirius?" James murmured under his breath, avoiding the glare of the Potions Master. Smirking softly as he glanced back towards Prongs, Sirius shrugged softly. "Only a few hundred."

He grinned cockily at Lily, who turned around, trying to ignore his feeble attempts to provoke her. The sudden laughter ceased as the boys cowered at Lily's stern look.

The class seemed to drag on forever as the professor droned on and on about Potions class safety and the proper use of _Newts Tail_.

At last chairs scattered across the stone floor as the bell erupted, breaking the silence of the studious class. Shoving his heavy books into his bag, James jumped up, calling out to Sirius as he made his way to the crowded door. "Race you to lunch Padfoot!" Before Sirius had time to blink James had disappeared amongst the animated students. Pushing his books into the bag at his side, Sirius gave Lily a small wave with a satisfied smirk. "No you don't Potter!" He called after Prongs, doubting he could hear. James turned his head back, searching for the scruffy hair amongst the swamped hallway filled with students. Sirius' steps were clumsy as he dodged and bypassed students on his way through. Slowing down slightly, he took the time to admire James from behind. He shook his head quickly as he regained speed, trying desperately to catch up with the damn Stag. Apologies were thrown left and right as Sirius bumped into everyone and everything.

"You'll have to run faster than that if you want to keep up with me Black!" Each step the Stag took was stealthy and swift; avoiding the objects surrounding him with great ease. Slowing down he slipped into the great hall and tapped his foot anxiously awaiting Sirius.

"Stupid deer...had to be a flipping Stag!" Sirius growled under his breath. Muttering curses loudly, he desperately shoved people out of his way trying to make it seconds within James time. "Why does everyone always bunch in the hallways!? " He growled furiously, pushing open the great hall doors, skidding inside frantically flailing to catch his balance.

Laughing loudly, James jumped back startled, focusing his eyes on the boy in front of him. Reaching out he wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist trying to hold him steady. "Slow down you old dog. You're going to wear yourself out." Sirius wavered slightly, laughing softly. He shook his hair out of his eyes and pulled away quickly, ignoring the response his body was giving to the simplest of touches. Clapping James on the shoulder roughly in thanks, he steered him towards the Gryffindor table. "You going to eat or not James?" He said, grinning playfully

James returned the grin, following him towards the table as he slipped in beside Lily and Remus. James leaned over the table slightly, "Try to be nice Sirius, she's really trying to be for you," he said punching his arm jauntingly. "So that means no reminiscing about the past." James leaned back, pecking Lily's cheek softly and began piling food onto his already filled plate.

There was no mistaking the pouty look that now decorated Sirius' sullen face; "I am nice!" He shot back. Nudging Wormtail over slightly, he slide into place beside him. Flashing his trademark grin at the girl across the table, he reached over, grabbing the nearest platter of food, taking the liberty to dump its entire contents onto his plate. Pouring some pumpkin juice into his goblet, he began to greedily dig in, shoving handfuls of food into his mouth, not bothering to chew it. Remus and Lily groaned in disgust as they witnessed the act before them. "Sirius Black you pig! Chew with your mouth closed." She held up her hand to block the show Sirius was presenting to them all, as he laughed through mouthfuls of food. James joined in with Sirius' laughing, grinning impishly. "On the count of three Black, I'll have you a food race. One...Two…" Without even counting to three James began to devour the grub on his plate.

Sirius grinned toothily, "Three!" he shouted through the crumbs. Ignoring the repulsed looks from everyone around the table, he started to cram food into his wide mouth, not caring to chew anything in the slightest. Sirius was soon catching up to James with his dog like manners, or rather, lack of; but James did not give up as he continued to ingest large amounts of food. Leaning their heads back in unison, they both let out loud belches that erupted over the great hall. Sirius glanced down upon both their plates and let out an infectious laugh. "I believe I win," he said with a smug look of triumphant on his face. Frowning softly, Prongs let out a low laugh. "Alright Sirius, I'll give you that one." James slung his bag over his shoulder and slipped from the bench. "I'll catch up with you guys later; Quidditch practice beckons me." He leaned down and kissed Lily, lingering slightly before slowly pulling away, giving her a small smile. Waving nonchalantly he departed from the table and headed off towards the Quidditch Pitch.

The smirk on Sirius' face wavered slightly as he watched James show his affection to Lily; but he quickly regained his composure. Jumping up from the table, he gestured towards Moony and Wormtail. "I'm going to go...read...no study! Yeah, I'm going to go study!!" The heavy thud of his thick black boots vibrated off the walls as he made his way outside, causally glancing down the corridors. Sirius was half praying that Remus would not follow him and realize that the library was in the opposite direction as he was heading. He spotted James a few feet away and remained at his distance, not wanting to be seen.

James shifted the weight of his bag from one shoulder to the next as he headed out to the pitch. He pushed open the front double doors and stepped out into the crisp fresh air. Sirius stood waiting in the hallway silently ushering James to go on. As soon as he was sure that James had moved on, he slipped outside after him and into the bushes, being careful to hide every inch of himself. _"Animargo," _he whispered softly, shivering as the transformation rippled through him. Slowly he opened his eyes and grinned, letting his wet dog tongue loll. He padded from the bushes and galloped towards the Quidditch pitch, being careful to stay out view.

James set his bag down onto the bench and stripped off his ordinary school uniform, quickly pulling on his Quidditch gear. Grabbing his broom, he exited the area and sauntered out onto the empty field. The black mutt quickly made his way into a space under the stands, nudging a banner which read _Go Ravenclaw Go!_ to the side with his nose. Flopping down onto his belly he perked up his ears, and grinning a soft puppy dog grin, he licked his teeth and settled in comfortably.

As James kicked off from the ground he could feel his mind leaving his body. In the air, up here, is where he belonged. Quidditch was _his_ game; he was good at something, more than anyone else. He was an amazing seeker, one of the best really, no one could swerve in and out of the players like he could. James soared higher; it was only until everything below had faded away he returned to himself. He could faintly make out the tiny figures below on the field as he dived heads on towards the ground. A small woofing sound arouse from the stands as the small dog patted the ground with his paws in a doglike applause. He grinned softly, exposing his sharp teeth, licking them softly as he whined at having to stay hidden.

Upon returning to the ground, James hovered slightly in front of his Quidditch Team. "Glad to see you've all turned out," he spoke, "Hufflepuff has been really busting their backs to try and beat us in this match. We need to be stronger, faster, and keener. Today's practice will be short, but you can all feel free to stay after practice and burn yourselves out." They all laughed in good cheer, kicking up off the ground as they paced the Quidditch field on their brooms. The balls had been released and the team had put themselves into gear, really going all at it this time. They were eager to win this season and would do anything to succeed.

Sirius lay in his well hidden spot, watching the practice play out with enthusiasm. He kept his eyes trained on the tiny little dot called the Snitch; because not very far from it he was bound to spot James. Sirius whined quietly, as the short practice was indeed short and the players packed up their gear, waved James off, and headed back towards the castle.

James scanned the now empty playing field, smiling triumphantly inside knowing that they were a shoe-in to win this year. Sliding off his broom he headed back into stalls, changing out of his sweaty gear and feeling glad to be rid of it. After a quick shower he slipped his uniform back on and made his way slowly back up to the castle.

James glanced down, noticing the small black dog trotting happily beside him letting out small barking sounds. He nudged his wet nose against James hand, whimpering softly at him.  
"Been here long?" James said grinning down at the mangy mutt. Sirius barked once, shaking his head from side to side, starting to bark louder. He trotted over to the same bush as he had previously and waited as the ripples ceased in his body. "Just got back actually," he said, emerging from the bush. James shook his head, "you really should be careful," he told Sirius catching up with him, slinging his arm around his best friends shoulder; "People might see you, then what?" Sirius grinned and slung his arm back over James leaning into him slightly. "I go to the Big Bad Doggy Pound?" He retorted, shrugging unconcernedly. He grinned wider and continued to head back to the common room with James.  
"Besides, it's not as if it would affect Lily anyways." James sent Sirius a pointed glance; "She'll come around Sirius. Just give her some time." James turned towards the Fat Lady muttering, _Flibgibbetts._ He slipped his arm from Sirius' shoulder and stepped into the room, greeting Wormtail kindly and Moony with a wide grin. Tossing his bag onto the chair he flopped down onto the couch, loosening his tie. Frowning softly Sirius followed him through the portrait hole; "Perhaps…" he murmured softly, hoping James could not hear.

Tugging off his tie, Sirius snapped it against Wormtail's large behind, grinning like a fool; "Should learn to watch your back Wormy!" Peter squirmed and squealing jumping up from his comfortable chair as he sent Sirius a death glare. "That isn't funny Sirius!" He shot at him on the verge of tears. Laughing, Sirius turned to James; "Hey Prongs, how about we go find Snivellus tomorrow? I haven't seen him around lately." James flicked his eyes up to Sirius and frowned slightly, "Lily asked me to go to Hogsmeade with her. She needs some books for the winter break or something," he said with a shrug. Sirius' face fell slightly, "Oh, alright. Have fun will Lilligan, James," Sirius snapped. Glancing up at the time, James lifted himself from the couch and waved goodnight to his friends as he made his way up to the dormitories. Once inside the safe haven of prying eyes he shed his clothes, shivering softly as the material slid over his body. Slipping into bed, he pulled the covers up over his face, waiting for the familiar sound in the dead of night.

Keeping his eyes on James, Sirius turned to his friends bidding them goodnight as he rose from his chair. He smirked softly as the girls in the room chimed in with collective awe's as he made his way upstairs. In the dark room he could faintly make out the shape in the bed next to his. Stretching lazily, he tugged off his uniform, kicking off his boots and smiling satisfactorily as they made a loud "thwack" sound upon hitting the wall across the room. James perked his ears up at the sound he had been waiting for as he closed his eyes pretending to be asleep. As Sirius discarded the rest of his clothes he slipped down into his bed, softly closing his eyes. James rolled over trying to find Sirius in the darkness, slipping from his bed and padding towards him. Nudging his body aside he slipped down beside him and draped his arm over his chest softly. "I missed you this summer Sirius. Knowing you're here safe. Just like it used to be," he whispered softly into the dead of night, remembering.

_The younger James would always crawl into bed with the younger Sirius; it's how he knew that Sirius was always safe. During the summer they spent sleepless nights away from each other, tossing and turning in their beds, wondering if the other was okay._

Silently Sirius was begging his body not to respond to the slight touch from James. "I missed you too James...I wish I could have stayed with you again this summer...I'm a disgrace to mum. I know we'd both be happier if I didn't live at home anymore..." Sirius said shakily, frowning softly at the thought. James could feel the pain seeping off of Sirius as he put his head gently onto his shoulder staring up at the features in the dark. "I've been thinking Sirius. Why not come stay with me? I know my mum and dad wouldn't mind having you around. Although, mum might have a bit of trouble adjusting to Padfoot and Prongs being under the same roof," he said laughing as his warmth breath traveled onto Sirius' cold neck. Sirius bit his lip, shivering at the sudden warmth. "Y...Yeah...Dynamic Duo under one roof. Whatever would your parents do? It would be nice though. I doubt mum would even know I was gone…" He shifted slightly, pushing James away from his neck, attempting to turn it into a stretch. "I'll send her an owl as soon as I can," Sirius replied, smiling. James nodded and rolled over listening to the sound of footsteps on the stairs. "That's my cue..." he said sliding out of Sirius' bed, making his way back to his own. "Sleep tight Sirius," he chimed in slipping down into his own cold bed.

"Peter be quiet!" People are trying to sleep; Remus said, talking hurriedly to Peter who was rambling on about nothing important. Sirius grinned softly, finally allowing himself to breath now that the presence of James had disappeared, although his scent still lingered. Closing his eyes, he smiled inwardly at the antics of familiar and close friends; finally drifting into sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

**I apologize profusely for the long wait of this chapter. Finals are finally over and now I have a lot more time to write, once again I apologize.  
Hopefully you won't have to wait as long for new chapters, no promises though.**

**On a happier note, thanks to all who reviewed and those who are reading.**

**As always, read and review**

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The sun shown brilliantly on Lily Evans as she tiptoed quietly through the boys dorms, glancing down at Sirius with a look of disdain on her finely featured face, before skipping the last few steps to James and tapping his shoulder softly. Finding no response, she put her hand on his shoulder and shook him, earning herself a disgruntled groan and an annoyed swat. Mumbling into his pillow, James murmured "It's Saturday Peter, we don't have class." Giggling, Lily swatted at his shoulder and squealed in surprise as she found herself lying next to the boy she loved. "Good morning beautiful," James said happily, grinning against her soft red hair as he showered her with kisses and stroked her long hair softly.

Across the room, Sirius, awoken by the giggling and mumbling of the new young lovers, growled softly into his pillow and pressed his face against it desperately. Finding that the noise was still too much, he rummaged around beside his bed, finding a balled up sock and chucking it at the two. "Bug off you prats…" he mumbled before pulling the covers over his head and muttering softly to himself.

Grinning over at his friend, James shook his head. "Oh, bugger off Sirius." Grinning wider, he scooped Lily up into his arms and set her on her feet gently before walking over to his trunk and digging a fresh set of robes out. Dressing quickly, James ran over to the mirror, trying to flatten his hair into a manageable form but giving up quickly. Pulling on his shoes, he walked over to Lily, leaning down to give her a soft kiss. Sirius, sitting up in his bed and watching with increasing frustration, gave a soft snarl and chucked his pillow at the two lovebirds, growling "Get a flippin' room Potter!!" Crossing his arms over his chest, he yawned widely and glared at the couple.

James jumped slightly, turning to glare daggers at Sirius. Grabbing Lily's hand, he turned to look at his three friends. Grinning impishly, he said, "We'll be back later. Try not to get into too much trouble without me." And with a wink to the three, he exited the room and headed off towards the portrait hole.

Pouting softly, Sirius watched until James and Lily left the dorms, then turned to his two remaining friends with a mischievous grin on his face. "What say we have a little fun today, hm?" he said, grinning evilly. "Remus…you said you needed a new book didn't you…and Peter…you're just about out of those licorice wands you love so much…" Licking his teeth quickly, he continued, "And I believe I'm running low on dungbombs…what do you say we join Lily and James on their little trip to Hogsmeade?" Grinning, he slipped out of bed and tugged his clothes on quickly before dashing out of the room, running through the crowded commons quickly in pursuit of his friends. "James! Padfoot! POTTER I'M FLIPPIN' TALKING TO YOU!!!" he yelled, forgetting to watch where he was going and tripping over a first year who was reclining on the floor near the door. "OOF!!"

Laughing under his breath, James ignored Lily's sigh of frustration and murmured, "Just hold on Lily. Let's see what he wants." With that, he spun around to face Sirius, laughing loudly at the tangled mess of limbs on the floor. "What do you want you clumsy mutt?"

Glaring up at James through his shaggy black hair, Sirius flipped his hair out of his eyes quickly and pushed himself up, muttering at the first year. Putting on his best grin, he said "Hey, hey Potter. Me and the boys were talking and we realized that Remus here…" He paused and grabbed Remus by his robes, pulling him up into James' view. "Needs a new book. You know how poor Remus gets without his books don't you? And Peter here!" Again, Sirius paused long enough to grab his friend, this time Peter, by the robes and pulled him up to James. "Needs his candy! Peter can't live a day without his candy! SO! We decided it would be a most wonderful idea to come along with you and Lily and make it a grand old time! What do you say?" Ending his little speech, Sirius paused and stared at James with a proud grin on his face.

At once, Lily shrieked in outrage and began pulling at James' robes, trying to pull him away before he agreed. Turning to look at Lily, James murmured softly and pleadingly, "Awe, come on Lily, they have very valid reasons." As Lily began shrieking in protest again, James frowned and turned back to his friends, rolling his eyes softly. "Sorry guys, Lily-Ow! I mean, Lily and I…we looked forward to spending time together today. Alone."

Frowning, Sirius let his head and shoulders droop slightly, allowing his hair to flop into his eyes again. He let go of his friends' robes slowly, and whispered sadly "Oh…Okay…Gotcha…Have fun then you two…" before letting out a small puppy whimper and staring up at them both sadly though his hair. Nudging Remus softly, he said, "What say we play a game of…wizard's chess…?" Remus blinked, opened his mouth, and shut it quickly again, noticing Sirius' silencing glare.

Watching Sirius, James felt himself starting to give in, slowly turning to Lily and whispering "Come on Lily…these guys look desperate…" Nudging her gently, he said "It won't be that bad, come on Lil…" Grinning slyly, he leaned down and captured Lily's lips in a gentle kiss, reassuring her. Sirius watched silently, recovering from his pout and flipping his hair out of his face, rolling his eyes. Crossing his arms over his chest and making a gagging noise in the back of his throat, he tapped his foot impatiently at the kissing couple.

Grinning, James reached over and smacked Sirius' arm before pulling away from Lily. Laughing softly, he said, "Why don't you find yourself a nice girlfriend Sirius? A nice Hufflepuff perhaps?" Slipping his arm around Lily's waist, he headed out of the portrait hole, glancing over his shoulder. "Are you three nutters coming or are you just going to stand there looking dazed?"

Blinking for a moment, Sirius let out a loud snicker and nudged his friends into moving before breaking into a trot behind James and Lily. "Very funny Potter! I could say the same thing to you, you know!" Smirking, he flipped his hair out of his eyes and grinned cheekily before continuing. "Bout time you started dating girls!"

James' hand immediately fell from Lily's waist as he spun around quickly to face Sirius. Narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms, he murmured, "When's the last time you were with a girl Sirius?"

Stopping abruptly and crossing his arms defensively, Sirius smirked. "Best ask your mum that Potter."

James felt his eyes widen, then narrowed them quickly and spat out "You better leave my mum out of this Black. Or I'll make you eat those words." Rolling up his sleeves slowly, James took a step towards Sirius, narrowing his eyes more.

Raising his eyebrow in amusement, Sirius smirked wider. "Oh, Little Potty's going to make Sirius eat his words?!" Sirius gasped in mock terror, throwing his hands over his mouth and squealing like a little girl. Crossing his arms defiantly, he snarled "Just flippin' try it. I'd like to see you cry in front of your girlfriend."

James' hand flew to his wand, but thinking about it, he let go and instead lunged at Sirius, snarling and pinning him to the ground as he yelped in surprise. Digging his nails into his shoulders, he shook him roughly snarling "You shut up Black!!" Sirius pushed up roughly, sliding his feet under James and kicking off. "Flippin' make me Potter!!"

Losing control of his thoughts, James raised a fist and punched Sirius in the eye, hitting squarely. Snarling, he glared down at him. "Someone had to stop your loud mouth from yapping eventually."

Wincing, Sirius staggered slightly and pushed Remus and Peter away roughly, muttering "Bugger off guys…" He put his hand to his eye and opened it slowly, wincing and blinking furiously. Slowly, he turned to face James and narrowed his eyes, snarling. "I hope your flippin' happy Potter…you just traded your best mate for a flippin' girl!" Spitting at James' feet furiously, he turned away quickly and stormed back into the dorms, slamming doors behind him.

James blinked softly in confusion, staring after his departed friend. Closing his eyes, he nudged Lily away and murmured "I'm going to go practice. You can go on with Remus and Peter." Slowly he lifted himself off the ground and walked out towards the Quidditch pitch, muttering softly "Not so happy Black…Not so happy at all…"

"And then he flippin' decked me! Right when I was about to beat his sorry arse!" Gesturing extravagantly and looking from the gleaming eyes of one girl to the next, Sirius grinned triumphantly as the portrait hole swung open and a tired, sweaty James stepped through. "And there he is ladies! The man of the hour, my EX best mate!" Smirking, Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and watched James with a gleam in his eyes.

Ignoring the hisses coming from the small crowd gathered around Sirius, James gave Sirius a long glare and swept into his room, slamming the door behind him. He angrily threw himself onto the bed and pushed himself onto his elbows, glaring into the mirror. "Like he hasn't given you a black eye before!" he muttered, shaking his head angrily. Sighing, he closed his eyes and let his head drop back onto his pillow.

Back in the commons, Sirius leaned back into the couch, slipping an arm around each girl on either side of him. Cringing to himself, he whispered softly, "Stupid git deserves it and he knows it…"

James lifted his head quickly at a soft rapping on the door, drooping disappointedly as Remus entered. "Oh…Hi Remus…I didn't expect you…I thought…I mean…oh, never mind." Pushing himself up, he pretended to be intent on pulling his Quidditch gloves off while examining Remus. "Why aren't you out there swooning over Sirius and hating me like the rest of the house?"

Lifting an eyebrow slightly, Remus stared at James thoughtfully for a moment. "Because…you're not a monster James. Sirius was, and still is, being a git. Give him a few days and you two'll be fine."

James shook his head quickly. "Remus…he called me his EX best mate. We've fought before, but never like this…"

Smiling reassuringly, Remus put a hand on James' shoulder. "Relax James. Sirius has said a lot worse. Besides, he wouldn't be Padfoot without Prongs at his side. He'll come around."

James nodded softly and tossed his Quidditch gear onto a pile next to his bed. "Maybe your right Rem. He's going to be lost without me. What do you say you and I go on down to that feast? I'm starved." James walked over to his trunk quickly, shedding his Quidditch robes and pulling on fresh ones before leading Remus into the commons and towards the portrait hole.

Sirius narrowed his eyes as James walked past. Feeling suddenly very ignored, he glanced around at his flock of girls grinning. "Who wants to accompany me to the feast?! All of you?! Alright then, off we go! Come along Peter, we're feasting tonight!" With that, Sirius jumped up, slung an arm around a very confused Peter, and led his group down to the great hall.

Rolling his eyes at Sirius' showy entrance, James led Remus to the opposite end of the table to join Lily. He then slipped an arm around her, kissing her fully on the lips.

Sirius sneered and rolled his eyes at James before leaning down to Peter's level and whispering into his ear slyly. Peter snickered and lifted his head to look at James and Lily.

"Get a flippin' room!" he squeaked, looking over to Sirius for approval.

Sirius grinned and ignored the death glare James shot his way. Slipping an arm around Peter appreciatively, he forced himself to ignore James, who was now showering Lily with soft kisses. Leaning down to the nearest girl, he kissed her cheek softly and watched James' eyes light up with jealousy.

James stood up quickly, muttering "I'll see you guys later. I need to go for a walk." Ignoring Lily's protests, he turned away from the table and headed outside.

Sirius frowned as he watched James. Gesturing absently, he murmured, "Sorry Love. Business calls and all that," he said to his admirer, and pulled away, slipping from the table and following James silently. As soon as James was a safe distance away at the lake, Sirius slipped outside into his bush and whispered the transformation words quietly. Padding away from one bush to the next, he skipped from bush to bush until he was a short distance away from James, who was sitting under a shady tree, staring over the lake. Sirius shifted his paws quietly and settled in to watch.

James settled himself under the tree, pulling a snitch out of his robes pocket and toying with it absently, allowing the tiny gold ball a few seconds of freedom before snatching it back with his nimble fingers. Closing his eyes, he whispered, "He's your best mate James, and you slugged him." Frowning, he added, "Your EX best mate." Sighing, he opened his eyes and released the little ball, watching it flit away on its vouch for freedom.

Sirius, who had been watching the snitch closely, screamed at himself silently. "No…don't Sirius…bad dog…no chasing the…shiny…gold ball…I love balls…no! Bad Sirius!" Barking loudly, he exploded out of the trees and threw himself in pursuit of the snitch.

Blinking at Sirius' sudden appearance, James jumped up and ran after the big black dog, yelling, "Sirius! Sirius Black you stupid dog!"

Sirius glanced back for a moment and groaned to himself. Directing his attention back to the snitch, he increased his speed quickly, stopping short under a tree near which the snitch was hovering. Growling, he jumped at it and snapped furiously.

Barking in surprise, Sirius suddenly found himself pinned uncomfortably to the ground with James on top of him. Transforming back quickly, he squirmed and muttered "Gerr off!" Narrowing his eyes, he licked his teeth habitually and stared up at James.

Blinking softly at Sirius, James slowly smiled. Trying to ignore his friend's angry black eye, he smirked "Were you following me Black?"

Sirius shivered and crossed his arms over his chest. "What's it to you if I was?"

James shook his head softly, ignoring Sirius' retort. Hesitantly, he slowly reached up and touched Sirius' black eye. "Does it hurt bad…? It was quite the punch…"

Snorting softly, Sirius murmured, "I'll give you that one Potter." He shrugged. "Remus has done worse…on his bad days."  
Nodding gravely, James stared down at Sirius and bit his lip. "Sirius…" "Yes James…"

James closed his eyes and without thinking twice, leaned down and pressed his lips against Sirius'. Feeling his eyes widen, Sirius pressed up against James immediately and kissed back, allowing his eyes to flutter closed slowly.

All too soon, James jerked back and stammered "I…I uh…don't know why I did that… Fighting back disappointment, Sirius nodded. "You can breath Potter. I know your not gay. Neither am I."

James laughed nervously and nodded. "You know me well enough to know that…" Lifting his head, he listened for a moment. "Remus and Peter must be looking for us. Com'on mate." James pushed himself up and glanced back at Sirius. "First though…" Pulling out his wand, he muttered a few words under his breath and watched with satisfaction as the ugly purple mass surrounding Sirius' eye faded. "No trace of the fight left."

Sirius smiled in thanks and pushed himself to his feet slowly. Grinning slyly, he slung an arm around James' shoulder. "Which fight would that be mate?"

Back in the commons, Sirius yawned and slapped a hand over Lily's mouth. "Let's just get his over with Lilligan. I'm a bad influence on James, you hate me, you wish he'd find a new best mate, blahblahblahgoodnight!" Jumping off his couch cushion perch, Sirius sprinted into his room and slammed the door behind him, leaning back against it heavily.

James bolted upright from where he was lying on his bed and blinked blearily at the door. "Sirius?"  
Growling, Sirius held the door closed and glared at James. He hissed, "Never. Ever. Ever! Leave me alone with that maniac girl again!" Feeling pounding on the other side of the door finally cease, he slowly pulled away and kicked his boots off. Stepping over to his bed, he slipped out of his robes and slid under his sheets, yawning widely.

Rolling his eyes, James muttered "You woke me up for that? Now I'll never get to sleep." Groaning in frustration, he chucked a pillow at Sirius. Sirius caught the pillow and threw it back, grinning cheekily. "Awwww…does wittily Potter want company tonight like in the old days?" James shrieked and lunged at Sirius. "Wittily Potter wants to murder Black!"

Sirius yelped loudly and whimpered up at James. "Wittily Potter angry at Wittily Blacky?" Trying to fight back snickers, Sirius gave James a long puppy-eyed look.

James rolled his eyes and collapsed onto the bed next to Sirius. "Goddamn you Black, why'd you have to be a puppy?""Because I have a wonderfully fluffy personality?" James laughed loudly "That would be the day Sirius. And its been a long one, thanks to you." Yawning, he draped an arm over Sirius' chest and pressed closer to him. "Hey Sirius…"

Yawning widely, Sirius turned to face James. "Hm? Biting his lip, James whispered, "How come I've never seen you with a girlfriend?"  
Sirius blinked quickly to hide his surprise before composing himself and smirking. "Because Sirius Black needs no girl to make him happy."

James laughed softly and stared up at Sirius. "Maybe I could set you up, hey. Lily might like you more if she saw what a gentleman you can be."

Sirius snorted and pushed himself up. "With who? One of Lily's greasy little nerds? Don't worry about me James. I'll be fine."

James frowned and nodded. "Yeah…alright Sirius. Its just…some days, when your around girls, you seem a little bothered…as if you were wishing you had someone…" Smiling softly, he said, "Or maybe I'm seeing things. Well, night Sirius." Slipping out of Sirius' bed, James stepped across the room and crawled back into his own bed, pulling the curtains closed around him.

Sirius sat quietly, staring after James. Shaking his head, he murmured to himself, "Yeah…I am wishing I had someone…"


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter three is here,  
Bet you didn't think it would be this fast  
But, I really put the pedal to the metal and here it is.  
Enjoy, Remember: Reviewing equals Love. 

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"It was nothing Lil! You've got it all wrong!!" James voice could be heard down at the Slytherin common rooms as Lily shrieked furiously at her boyfriend. They were both at wits end with each other as Lily grabbed her bag and flung it across her shoulder making her way through the crowded room to the portrait hole. "Lily!" James called after her desperately; "Lily, where are you going!" Groaning he flopped into the chair behind him as the portrait swung shut.

Sirius jolted awake as loud shouts filled the room, he glanced around in confusion trying to find the source, soon realizing there was no one there but himself. He grumbled blearily and fumbled around searching for something to muffle the noise; figuring it was hopeless, he slipped from the bed, and scratching his unruly messy hair he staggered down the stairs, his eyes finally registering on James. "Potter, what the bloody hell are you yelling about this early in the morning?"

James lifted his sullen head from his hands and glanced up at Sirius. "Sirius, you do realize it's three in the afternoon, don't you?" Sirius cocked his head to the side and stared at James in confusion. He shook his head at Sirius' oblivious sense for time. "It's nothing Sirius."

He rose from the chair, tugging on his robes, deciding it would be best to go after Lily and make amends, as he exited the common room. Sirius sighed in deep frustration as he pulled on his own robes, grumbling to himself all the way out of the room; "Don't make me have to chase you all around the castle this morning Potter. Or I'll have you flippin' hide, dried, and stretched over a board." James stopped abruptly and turned around to face his best mate. "What do you want Black, I haven't all day."

Sirius threw his hands up in front of James. "What the bloody hell is with you this morning James. Does Lilligan have you on her cycle now?" He yawned, urging himself silently to wake up.

James was not in the mood for Sirius' antics; "Shut up Sirius." He turned from him and headed down the corridors. Sirius blinked blearily after James. He grumbled softly, "I otta go back to bed." Instead, he made his way back to the dormitory, tugged on his boots, and made his way off to find James.

James rubbed his temples, giving up hope of ever finding Lily, he suddenly got a brilliant idea and made his way back to the Gryffindor Common room. Rushing in they were oblivious of one another as they both collided with a loud thud. Sirius yelled in surprised, "Watch where you're bloody going will you." He growled and lifts his head and stared over at his mate.

"Sirius!" James barked out "I'm trying to find Lily. Do you have any idea where she could be?"

Sirius rolled his eyes in aggravation, "No, I have no seen your bloody girlfriend James and neither will you until you tell me what the bloody hell is going on!!" Pulling his legs out from underneath James' weight he crawled onto of him pinning him down. "I believe I am owed an explanation for such a rude awakening." He glared down at him in mock anger, finding it near impossible not to laugh at the look on James face.

James groaned at the heavy weight pressing against his chest and stared up the boy. "Lily thinks the only reason I'm not going to stay with her this holiday is because of you."

"Isn't it?" Sirius asked him sweetly. He stretched out his legs, not moving an inch from James body as he stared into his eyes. James could feel his breathing quicken, he tried desperately to calm the strange feelings that were overwhelming him. He cleared his throat awkwardly "Lily doesn't need to know that Padfoot. She was thrilled when we were fighting because it would leave me with no option but to go with her." The spark in his eyes saddened as he remembered the previous morning.

Acting insulted, Sirius flicked his mate, "I'm starting to think your girlfriend hates me James." He slipped off of James, offering his hand out as he took it, pulling himself up. "What say we find her and gives her loads of chocolates and sweets. Girls seem to like that. And maybe it'll calm her off her rag."

James scoffed, "Knock it off Sirius. She's not on _her rag._"

Sirius slung his arm around James shoulder and left for the great hall. "Yea, alright," he retorted, "but if you want to make your girl happy, buy her something nice."

"And what would you know about making a girl happy?" James said, laughing loudly. "Hey Padfoot, what say you we skip classes today and head to Hogsmeade. Bring out that old map Remus nicked from us.

Sirius' eyes lit up, "I say we got for it! S'been forever since we've done anything like that."

A grin erupted on James face as he grabbed his hand, pulling him along. "We'll wait it out until the halls have cleared." Smirking softly he added, "I believe you're a bit rusty aren't you Black." Tugging on his hand he led them into the bathroom.

"Rusty!? In your dreams Potter." They glanced around the not so empty bathroom, fixing their eyes on the greasy haired boy standing at the sink. James squirmed slightly feeling Sirius' elbow nudge him as he advanced the boy.

The boys leaned against the counter on either side, gripping their wands. "What do we have here?" Sirius asked mockingly. Licking his teeth out of habit he gestured towards Snivellus.

"I believe it's a rare species known as a slimy, greasy git," James remarked.

"A little sniveling one at that," Sirius replied pulling out his wand. "And what do we do with slimy greasy gits James?"

Severus Snapes' eyes widened as he attempted to make a dash towards the door. Thinking on his feet, James raised his wand, flicking it so Snapes feet were hovering inches from where he once stood.

"We put greasy gits in their place." Flicking their wands in unison, the boys made the hovering Snape float to the nearest stall. With twin smirks plastered on both of their faces, they dropped their wands and Snape was lowered down into the murky filth of the bathroom toilet water. Snape's screams, with the echoing laughter of the two marauders, bounced off the walls.

"It's about time we get to class isn't it?" Sirius said, winking in James direction. He flicked his wand once more, slamming the door stall shut behind a very drenched Severus.

Grabbing his hand once again, James ushered Sirius away from the bathrooms and out into the empty corridors. Subconsciously Sirius squeezes Prong's hand as he followed quickly behind him, admiring his grace compared to his own lumbering steps. Pushing the One Eyed Witch out of the way the two dropped down through the tunnel.

"You coming already Sirius?" James asked, laughing as he made his way down the path.

Shaking his head, Sirius followed James, keeping a safe enough distance behind to glance admiringly at. He finally caught up with James just above the trap door leading into Honeydukes. "Think Snivellus has gotten his greasy head out of the loo yet?" He asked James slyly.

"Taking everything into consideration? I'd think not." James pushed up on the trap door, slipping inside the warm shop. "Come on Padfoot. You're slowing down in your old age. How old are you anyways, 119?"

A soft pout found it's way onto Sirius' face as he followed him through the trapdoor. "Only in dog years!" James laughed at Sirius' obvious attempt to make him feel guilty.

"Mr. Potter. Mr. Black." The sudden voice caused the boys to look up at a very furious Professor.

"O..oh...Hello professor. Lovely day isn't it?" Sirius stuttered, putting on a cheesy fake smile, as he ignored the rainclouds forming around her head.

--------

James repeatedly smacked his head against the desk, groaning loudly. Lifting his head he glanced at Professor McGonagall, who was busy marking assignments. He picked up the wash brush and continued his grueling task of scrubbing each desk manually. Laughing nervously he turned his attention to Sirius. "Looks like we're both a bit rusty here Sirius; being caught on our first time back out and all. Peter was always our look out man."

Sirius nodded, "I blame Snivellus. I bet he ratted us out; how else would she have known." He dumped the soapy bucket onto the floor and scrubbed furiously, groaning as he flipped his hair from his eyes and stared out at the window longingly.

Tossing his soapy rag into the bucket, James joined Sirius at the window, placing his elbows on sill. "This is ridiculous," he said staring down at the Quidditch Match, glaring inwardly.

"James...I'm sorry you're missing out. I know the match meant a lot to you. If I hadn't distracted you, you wouldn't have opened the door so fast." Sirius turned his back from James and surveyed the room; "How are we doing?"

James laughed weakly and placed his hand onto Sirius' shoulder; " I heard McKinney is seeking today. I haven't seen him catch a thing all season.

Sirius winced and joined James' nervous laughing. "He flies like a duck compare to you James. You're amazing up there..." he said wistfully. "Don't worry, you'll have a chance at them later, if we don't lose too badly," he added. "We have a chance James," he said smiling, trying to reassure him.

"I'm fine Sirius, really," James said, trying to reassure himself. "What say you we head out and grab some lunch? I'm starving."

Slinging his bag over his shoulder, James made his way out, nodding towards the professor. "Why aren't you at the game Lil?" He asked, grinning at the girl standing outside the classroom.

"Quidditch is boring James," she frowned at him softly. "It's not worth watching if you're not playing." She smiled up at him brightly, standing on her tip toes and kissing his lips with love only a girl could have.

"Sounds good to me-" Sirius' eyes slowly focused on the girl attached to James lips and let out a shrill shriek, jumping behind James. "Lilligan's here to kill me!!" Sirius took the opportunity to glance down to James ass, smirking softly to himself, before returning to a look of mock terror.

Lily pulled back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh ha ha Sirius Black. You're such a coward," she said, miffed. "James, come on, you promised to take me to lunch."

He stared at her a blank expression written on his face. "I did?" She let out a long exasperated sigh; "Course I did! Are you coming Sirius?" He asked, slipping his hand into Lily's.

Glaring at the hands Sirius slipped up beside James. "Why'd you have to invite him?" Lily asked, annoyed.

"You're girlfriend is evil James." Came another soft voice on the other side of him.

James rolled his eyes as Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "She's not that bad Sirius."

"Only when you're around," Sirius mumbled to himself, feeling the jealously seep into every inch of his body. Sirius followed the couple to the table slipping down across from James, staring at him as he foolishly watched Lily drone on and on about finishing homework before it's due. Sirius waved his hand in front of James face, narrowing his eyes. "James, hello? Earth to James!"

James lifted his head slowly and frowned at Sirius; "Show some bloody respect Sirius."

Sirius frowned back at James tone, before turning to Lily. "Hm, doing homework, hm, nope; not interested. But your lecture is quite interesting; you should be a professor Lilligan." He grinned at her as he placed his hand over his mouth. "I mean, if that's what you want to do of course," he added, winking at her.

"Sirius Black! You no good Git!" she said on the verge of tears. "You're a jerk!"

James grit his teeth as he grabbed the back of Sirius' cloak, dragging him out of the grand hall. James glared up at him, "May I have a word with you my dear friend Sirius." James grit his teeth as he grabbed the back of Sirius' cloak, dragging him out of the grand hall.

Sirius frowned, "Come on! I complimented her!"

"Is something bothered you Sirius? Has someone upset you? Is there a reason why you're being such a bloody git?"

Laying it on thick, Sirius jutted out his bottom lip, "I'm insulted James! How could you even suggest such a hurtful thing.

James rolled his eyes, attempting to ignore the puppy-dog-pout act Sirius was putting on. "Lay off Lily, okay? She's still angry I'm not going with her tomorrow. Maybe I should just go..It would be fine for you right? It would give you two time to cool off," he smiled brightly.

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "You think I don't get flippin' hell from her when you're not around James?" He dropped his gaze to his boots and kick the stone floor softly. "Oh, yea, I'll be fine. Go ahead and go James.." He hunched over his shoulders slightly, fighting to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall.

James glanced over at at his friend, placing his hand onto his shoulder. "It's been a while since me and Lily have been close, " he said. He bit his lip gently, "We've never even...you know," he admitted embarrassed. "Not that I'd tell Remus or anyone. Maybe this could be it hey?" He said grinning as he nudged Sirius.

Sirius cringed inside as he felt his heart hit his stomach. "Yeah, maybe James," he said slapping his shoulder in fake enthusiasm. "Your secrets safe with me mate."

"I knew I could trust you Sirius," James said, glancing down the empty hallways. "You don't plan on leaving tomorrow then?" He laughed softly, "Course you don't. You'll probably be up in the commons with the girls you adore."

"Where would I go James? My mothers house?" Sirius said, shaking his head. "'Happy Christmas you filthy disgrace of my blood; now go off yourself,'" he imitated in a high pitched voice. He licked his teeth, flipping his shaggy hair out of his face and laughed whole heartily, using any means known not to cry.

James laughed, shaking his head; "Point taken Sirius. I'll catch up with you later, I have to go tell Lily the good news." He slapped his shoulder in a friendly manner and headed back into the grand hall looking for Lily.

Sirius smile weakly after James, "Yeah, bye mate..." he said closing his eyes as soon as James was gone. He placed his hand on his chest, making sure his heart was still in pieces. "Bloody blow to the heart that one, James."


	5. Chapter 4

Guess who finished a chapter.  
That's right, me.  
If you want to see another chapter this quickly (yes, this was quickly. I've had a lot of free time lately)  
You should review.  
Because reviewing makes me happy ;)

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Sirius lay sprawled out in his bed, covers wrapped around his lean body, with his face mashed unceremoniously into his pillow. A small stream of drool dribbled from the corner of his mouth to the pillow, creating a wet soggy spot on the pillowcase. One leg jerked forward suddenly, and with a snort he successfully woke himself up. Blinking blearily, he raised his head and glanced at the clock next to him, noting to himself that the train taking the Hogwarts students who were going home for the holidays was to leave in five minutes. Frowning and sighing to himself, Sirius turned to glance around the room, resigning himself to a lonely, solitary Christmas. He blinked suddenly, noticing that the room was not empty like he had believed it would be. Raising an eyebrow, he leaned down and snatched one of his boots and chucked it at the lump of covers in the bed opposite him.

"Oy! James! What the flip are you still doing here?!"

James groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily and ignoring the boot lying next to him. Yawning widely, he turned to Sirius and grinned. "I'm not going."

Sirius leaned his head back and yawned, not allowing his surprise to show in his eyes. "Why not?" He turned to James again, feeling his eyes cross with the effort of trying to focus on his best friend.

Laughing softly at his friends antics, James frowned. "Lily invited Rose and Pricilla after I told her I wouldn't go the first time. She seemed proud when she told me 'I missed out.' There goes my chance." He pulled his blankets over his head again and groaned.

Sirius frowned thoughtfully. "Hm…yeah…shame that is. Sorry mate…best luck next time." He yawned again and threw himself back onto his covers. "What are we going to do with ourselves now hm?"

James smirked and slipped out of his bed, padding over to where Sirius was lying. Raising his eyebrow softly, he grinned down at him widely.

Sirius blinked up at James, raising his eyebrow and pulling his covers over his head. "I don't like that look James…flippin' scares me." He mumbled, then poked his head out of the covers. "Remus and Peter leaving?"

"I think Peter is. Remus left this morning for the library, mumbling something about catching up on his reading."

Laughing, Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank bloody hell for that. Slimy little git's been following me like a second tail since I told him we should hang out more."

James grinned and plopped himself onto Sirius' bed, forcing him to move over. "That's what you get for being such an angry git."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius retorted. "It's not my fault you popped me one James!"

James smiled and nodded. Without thinking about his actions, he reached over and brushed Sirius' long hair out of his eyes. "I think it's about time you got a haircut Sirius."

Sirius stiffened and glanced at James quickly. Shivering, he grinned. "Haircut?! Bah!" He smirked and snorted softly. "I'll have you know my hair is responsible for all the action I get James!"

James laughed and smacked Sirius with his pillow. "Among other things." Blinking rapidly at his words, he bit his lip and slipped off the bed quickly, busying himself by digging through his trunk.

Sirius raised his eyebrow. "What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean James?" Replacing his pillow, he propped himself up on his elbows and watched James dig.

James laughed nervously. "Nothing Sirius. It was nothing." Grinning, he turned and tossed Sirius a shabby grey sweater with a big black "S" on it. "Molly knitted them for us." He smiled and slipped on his own sweater, a dull brown with a bright red "J" splashed across it.

Dropping the subject for the time being, Sirius slipped his own sweater on and snickered. "I bet she made them for everyone in our house. Especially _Arthur."_

James grinned. "I bet your right." Walking over to his bed, he picked up his pile of letters and began sorting through them. Finding one addressed to him from Remus, he set the others aside and ripped it open carefully, settling himself on the edge of his bed to read:

_James,_

_First, I'd like to wish you a very Happy Christmas and Holidays. In case you've forgotten, you received your present from me weeks ago, when I loaned you all those galleons in Hogsmeade. _

_Anyways, since this letter is obviously not your Christmas gift, I should get on with my purpose. I'd like to speak to you about something later this evening, James. The matter is rather serious I believe, so we shall talk about it in a place that is more private than the commons. _

_So, if you would please meet me in the Astronomy Tower at six o'clock tonight, that would be splendid. I hope that I'll see you there. (Or I'll have to hunt you down and dismember you.)_

_Yours truly,_

_Remus_

James frowned at the letter and glanced up quickly to Sirius, who was watching him with a concerned expression on his face. "It's from Remus." He explained lamely. Glancing around quickly, he snatched up a parcel and threw it to Sirius. "This is from my mum."

Sirius took the parcel eagerly, but paused and studied James carefully. "And Remus has upset you?" Tearing into the package, he grinned down at his box of never-ending chocolates happily. "Do you think your mum would adopt me?"

James laughed weakly and grinned down at the package in Sirius' hands. "Ah…no of course he didn't. He just wants to meet me somewhere later. Probably to discuss getting an early start on the homework."

Sirius grinned and nodded. "Good old Remus. Hey…look…I got a letter from him too." Grinning, he ripped his letter open eagerly and began to read:

_Sirius, _

_Happy Christmas you old dog you. I gave you your present (remember all that useless Zonko's stuff you _had_ to have?) months ago, so don't' go trying to trick me into giving you something again. _

_This letter does have a purpose, and since we all know you loath reading, I'll get to it. I have something to discuss with you Sirius, and I'd like to meet with you in private to do so. If you would please, meet me in the Astronomy Tower at six o'clock tonight. I hope to see you then. (Be there or I will be sure to rip a good chunk out of your hair out at the next full moon.)_

_Yours truly, _

_Remus_

Frowning, Sirius turned to James. "Where did you say he wanted to meet you?"

James lifted his head from the large box of sweets his parents had sent. "Hm? Oh…in the Astronomy Tower at 6 tonight."

Sirius blinked. "Same as me then. I wonder what he wants now…" Laughing nervously, he glanced at his letter again before folding it and tucking it into his trunk.

James nodded and glanced over at his already folded letter. "He sure can be odd sometimes. Oh…before I forget!" Grinning softly, he reached under his bed and pulled out a parcel, tossing it at Sirius. "From me mate."

Sirius grinned and tore into the package. "Much better than having to face that parcel from mum!" Ripping the paper, he grinned down at the box of dungbombs and opened the envelope attached. "Gift certificate to Zonko's! Thanks mate!" Sliding down onto his stomach, he pulled a thickly wrapped package from under his own bed and threw it to James. "Your turn."

Grinning widely, James tore into the paper and pulled out a set of fine leather gloves. Staring at them with wide eyes, he pulled them out of their box tenderly and slipped them over his hands, admiring them. "Bloody hell Sirius…seekers gloves…how did you know I needed new ones…?"

Rolling his eyes, Sirius grinned. "You really need to stop drooling in the Quidditch shop James. You might ruin something valuable." Resigning himself finally, he turned to the package addressed to a "Mr. Sirius Black" and pulled it towards him quickly. "Might as well get mum's package out of the way…"

James bit his lip and nodded, stepping over to his friend's bed and sitting next to him. Putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder, he said, "Go on Sirius…Open it…"

Sirius nodded and grabbed the slip of parchment off the box first and read it out loud, "Happy Christmas to you, you rotten blood traitor." He groaned and opened the box quickly, dreading what he would find.

A rotten smell burst out of the box, quickly filling the room with an odor so powerful both James' and Sirius' eyes began watering immediately. James, in a moment of sheer brilliance, thrust his wand at the package, making it turn into a large bouquet of flowers in a burst of sparks and colorful petals. Groaning with relief, he turned to Sirius with raised eyebrows. "What the bloody hell was that?"

Sirius turned a bright red in embarrassment at his mother's actions. Closing his eyes, he muttered, "Something dead…and rotten most likely… Least she's honest hey?"

Biting his lip, James slipped his arms around Sirius reassuringly. "Her honesty is unwelcome here. Don't worry Sirius, I won't let you go back to her."

Sirius nodded and leaned into James' arms for a moment. Coughing, he pulled away quickly and glanced up at him before breaking into a wide grin, the moment before apparently forgotten. "Hey…what say we go try out those new gloves of yours?!"

-----------------

James stood alone on the landing in front of the door to the Astronomy Tower, at the top of the stairs. Closing his eyes, he muttered softly to himself, "What would Remus know anyways? He probably wants to discuss some homework or a new book he's reading." With that, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open, slipping into the room.

Sirius dashed up the stairs wildly, flailing desperately to keep his balance as he ran, trying to make it to the landing before James. Growling to himself, he muttered, "Flippin' Snivellus will pay for making me late! Remus…this had better be good…"

Looking around, James grinned nervously at Remus and waved. "Hey Rem. Is Sirius here yet?"

Remus shook his head gravely, smiling softly. "Why, no, our good old friend seems to be running la-"

At that moment, Sirius burst through the door, yelping as he slammed into the wall opposite, making Remus have to jump to the side to avoid him. "Did I make it bef- Oh, Hi James."

Remus raised a thin, lightly colored eyebrow. "Nice of you to join us Sirius. As I was about to tell James, I did indeed call you both here for a reason." Glancing between the two boys seriously, he pressed his lips together. "I'm not sure how to put this gently…so I suppose I'll have to be blunt." Turning to Sirius, he stared into his eyes and stated matter of factly. "Sirius Black, you're in love with James."

Sirius, who had been leaning against the wall nonchalantly with his arms crossed up to this point, choked. Bending over with an arm pressed to his stomach, he forced himself into a coughing fit, giving himself an excuse to avoid both James' and Remus' eyes.

James blinked rapidly and stared over at Sirius with concern. Once he had assured himself that Sirius was going to be alright, he raised his head and stared at Remus in astonishment. "Sirius is not in love with me!"

Remus felt a soft smile playing on his lips as he stared back at James. "Oh, but he is James. And you're in love with him."

James barked out a harsh laugh, staring at Remus in disbelief. "R…Remus, you of all people know I'm not like that! I'm not in love with Sirius, in fact, I don't even find him attractive at all!"

Standing up from his coughing fit just in time to hear James' harsh comment, Sirius flinched visibly and flicked his eyes up quickly to Remus, sure that he had seen. Remus tightened his lips and shook his head softly, assuring Sirius silently. Forcing a laugh, Sirius stuttered, "I like girls Remus. You know that. Look at my reputation for God's sake!"

James, noticing none of the exchange going on behind him, went on, "I'm in love with Lily Remus, who is a girl if you haven't cared to notice." Staggering over to Remus, he slapped him on the shoulder a little harder than necessary. "Remus, go back to your books you silly wolf. Sirius and I are perfectly straight!"

Remus smirked softly and stared up at James with a knowing expression on his face. "I didn't plan on using this unless I had to, but I see now its necessary James." Staring straight into the hysterical boy's eyes, he murmured, "That's why you crawl into bed with him."

James' eyes widened, and he began to blink rapidly, shaking his head every few seconds. "We…We're best friends Remus…you know as well as anyone does how many problems Sirius had as a kid…old habits are hard to break you know…" Glancing around nervously, he searched frantically for an escape route. "Um…I think I heard Lily calling me!!" Refusing to look back at Sirius, James pushed himself off his wall and made a wild dash for the door, clomping noisily down the stairs.

Sirius, who had been watching the exchange quietly from the opposite wall, stomped a booted foot softly and lowered his eyes. Closing his eyes softly, knowing Remus could hear, he whispered, "Lily's gone for the holidays you bloody git…" Blinking quickly, he brushed away Remus' comforting hand and muttered, "Rem…I'm not gay…okay?" Pushing away from the wall quickly, Sirius clomped down the stairs dejectedly, for once in his life forgetting to make his usual racket.


	6. Chapter 5

After a long epic battle with my Beta, I present to you Chapter 5

**Read and Review!**

The whole castle could have heard Sirius, and he would not have cared. As days slipped by, Sirius had stowed away all his emotions; tonight was his night to let it all out. He tried desperately not to think of James, of what Remus has said earlier...Of all the homework piled up on his bed waiting for him. He whined inwardly and padded the mucky ground again in protest.

Sirius opened his eyes and glanced up at the moon, which was unusually bright tonight. Fighting the urge was useless as he let out another heart-wrenching howl, letting it trail off into a small whine. Sirius lay his weary head on the front of his paws and continued to whine as he listened to the stillness of the night. It was eerily quiet out, except for the wind in the trees, everything was motionless.

_---------_

Remus had aways been the smartest of the four Marauders. He was always right, except on the very rare occasion. He spent countless hours with his nose in a book and the rest of his free time working on homework. Remus would nag the other three Marauders about finishing last weeks homework while he was busy doing _next years_ homework. So why was James having a hard time believing Remus now? Perhaps it was because neither James nor Sirius were gay; and they were defiantly not in love with each other. James had a better chance of being betrayed by Peter Pettigrew than being in love with Sirius.

James' footsteps echoed along the corridors, his breath coming in heavily. He didn't stop running until he reached the common rooms, pushing his way through the crowding first years, listening as they shouted at his back in protest. The heavy door slammed behind him and he let out a low growl in frustration. Why was something as trivial as this bothering him? Everyone in Hogwarts knew that James was in love with Lily, and Sirius was in love with...Well, Sirius was in love with himself!

James paced the room, growing wearier with every second that passed that Sirius did not turn up. Fearing he would run a hole into the floor and fall right through, he padded over to the nearest bed and collapsed into it. He placed his face in his hands, feeling ready to give up, when a blood-curling howl broke the heavy silence. James' head jerked up liquid fast. "Sirius..." he whispered softly as he staggered over to the window and stared out at the illuminated Hogwarts grounds. The sudden howling sent chills up his spine.

Desperation and fear slowly crept onto his face. "I'm coming Sirius..." he said, his voice tinged with uncertainty. He quickly stashed his _Invisibility Cloak_ under his arm and rushed out of the commons, trying to find the source of the howling.

James tugged the invisibility cloak around his body in an attempt to stay warm and keep out of sight. Slowly he pulled out another item and tapped it twice with his wand. "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." _The map before him sprang to life as his eyes searched over it. His eyes fell upon a small dot clearly marked Sirius Black, hovering just beside the lake.

James stopped a few feet away from Sirius, so far unnoticed. "S...Sirius..." he whispered awkwardly, afraid he would scare him away. A small, surprised bark escaped from Sirius' lips as his eyes flew up to the raven haired boy standing close to him. Sirius started to back up slowly, embarrassed; he breathed a sigh of relief knowing human emotions were harder to read in animagus form.

James drop to his knees in front of Sirius and glanced fearfully over at the scared dog. "Sirius..." he pressed on again. Reaching into his cloak pocket, he pulled his hand away to reveal a small fluttering golden object. His fingers slowly uncurled from the small ball, allowing it to fly it's way to freedom, frittering away, glinting in the dark. "Go get it Sirius."

Sirius cursed James inwardly, and then himself for having too many dog-like traits. Sirius let out a low bark, shaking his head from side to side as he tried to resist the humming snitch hovering above his head. Thoughts flowed through his head; _Stupid ball. It's just a stupid ball. Just a stupid...Ah, what the hell! _Sirius sprang up suddenly, snapping and baring his teeth at the golden snitch. James watched the scene play out in front of him as he thought it would. When Sirius had successfully captured the snitch between his grinning teeth, James reached out, tugging on the back of Sirius' neck.

"Sirius, sit," he commanded. He pointed to the spot in front of him as Sirius cursed under his breath again. Sirius shook his shaggy head again, as he licked the front of his sharp teeth, he wasn't going to fall for that again. Despite his defiance, Sirius lowered himself to the ground, reminding himself to thwack James for this later. James slid down onto his stomach and peered up at the dog before him. James eyes darted from Sirius' eyes to the flick of his tongue and back up to his eyes again.

Sirius whined softly, slowly feeling his transformation wear off as he returned to human form before James. Sirius groaned and narrowed his eyes at James. "Don't think I'll forget about this James Potter!"

James couldn't help but let out a low laugh as he watched Sirius transform back, staring at him underneath the pale moonlight. A small gasp slipped from James lips, despite himself; he would never admit to anyone, let alone himself, that he thought Sirius Black looked lustrous and brilliant in the glow of the moonlight. James shook the thoughts from his head, despite them slowly creeping back in. He licked his lips slowly, quickly flicking his gaze up to Sirius' eyes, seeing if he had noticed; apparently he had.

"You called?" Sirius said, breaking the silence between them.

James kicked himself inwardly; What was happening to him? "I uh, I heard you," he replied, laughing softly before adding, "as if anyone didn't."

Sirius joined him laughing nervously. "Sorry about that...I'll lie low for a few days."

"I'd miss you too much Sirius."

Sirius raised his head and offered him a small smile. "Good to know."

James rolled onto his back and stared up at the glowing stars. "I'm sorry for bolting on you and Rem earlier." He closed his eyes, regretting every second of it.

"Don't be James," Sirius replied. "Being accused of being gay is scary stuff," he said half-joking, half trying to fool himself. Sirius pushed himself up onto his elbows and glanced over at James. Sirius had always admired James lean body, but underneath the moonlight he looked especially tempting.

James shrugged, "I guess so." He tilted his head back, forcing himself to look back at Sirius. He shifted uncomfortably under Sirius' stare as he licked his dry lips.

Sirius' eyes fixed on James soft lips as he unconsciously licked his own. "Why else would you run out like that? You really lived up to your name Prongs."

James could feel his face grow hot under the watchful eyes of Sirius. "Yes, well..." he began slowly.

Sirius' heart was racing as the tension around them grew thicker. He flipped the hair from his eyes nervously, trying to calm his sudden urges.

His attempts grew fruitless as his hands found their way to the sides of James' face. Leaning in closer he whispered, "To bloody hell with it..." Pressing closer, he captured James' lips in his own. James' lips were soft, just as he predicted they would always be; not that he looked at his lips often.

James could feel his body freeze up as the sudden warm lips covered his own. He leaned up, kissing back in the slightest, feeling his body starting to relax.

Sirius' hands started to wander over James' perfect smooth skin for the first time; in one swift movement he stroked his cheek softly, brushing the back of his hand over James' skin. A small gasp escaped from James' lips as Sirius pulled away from him, much to his dismay. A shudder ran through both their bodies as they lay gasping for air. Sirius' hand still rested against James cheek, but neither cared enough to notice.

"I..I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Sirius said, locking his eyes with James'. He tried desperately to read his expression, the fear inside him slowly starting to rise.

Finally, James shook his head. "Sirius..."

Sirius threw his hands up in the air, already exhausted of the conversation, despite the fact it hadn't begun yet. "You're not gay James. I get it. You were in the heat of the moment and got caught up. You thought I was Lily. When will your bloody excuses end James!" James blinked at Sirius, opening his mouth, then quickly closing it as he gaped at him. Sirius sighed, he was tired of going around in circles with him.

He picked himself up off the ground, feeling his heart hit his stomach. "I'm tired of this Prongs..." His eyes wandered down to James, who was still sitting motionless on the ground. "All your excuses, they're not rational."

James could hear the beating of his heart, fearful it might break free from his chest. "You like girls Sirius," he said flatly.

"You're wrong James."

Slowly, James lifted his head and gaped up at him. "W...What do you mean?"

Sirius was growing frustrated with James. "I don't like girls James!" He snapped out harshly. He closed eyes, attempting to try again. "James...I'm gay." A vile feeling started to arise in the pit of Sirius' stomach as he said those very words. He put his face in his eyes, trying desperately not to cry in front of James.

"You're always hanging around girls Sirius...How could you be gay...?" James voice was uneven and shaky

"You mean they're always hanging around me? I can't help it if I'm good looking James," Sirius smiled to himself, "But it doesn't mean I've done anything with any of them." He lifted his head from his hands and stared up at James. "Please don't tell anyone James...Even if you grow to hate me, or even hate me now. Don't tell anyone..."

"Do Wormtail and Moony know?"

"Well, you heard Moony tonight. I'm pretty sure he didn't get that from no where James." Sirius glanced up at the sky, noticing the sun slowly starting to peek out.

Picking himself up off the ground, James staggered over to Sirius. "Padfoot, I don't have a problem with you being...how you are."

Sirius nodded, it was better than James hating him, but it still hurt. "Glad you don't hate me mate," he said swallowing the rising lump in his throat.

"I'd never hate you Sirius," James said, slinging his arm around Sirius' shoulder. "I'm actually kind of relieved," he let out a low laugh and stared up at the sky.

Confused, Sirius turned to James, "You're relieved?"

James nodded, "Least now I know you won't take Lily away from me." He Laughed loudly, only stopping when he had realized Sirius was not laughing. "Sirius, come on. You're gay, you don't like Lily anyways."

Sirius rolled his eyes at James' stroke of genius. "Course James. You can have Liligan."

James smiled, obviously satisfied. "Lily and I had been talking before she left," he offered, "she said she felt ready." Starting to feel uneasy in James' grip, Sirius gave a small grunt in reply.

"Don't worry Sirius," James said to him, getting the impression he was feeling bitter about being alone. "You'll find someone, you'll be in love just as much as Lily and I."

Sirius threw his hands up and pulled away from James. "Hey, Yeah. I heard Snivilus is looking for a date for the Yule Ball. Now, if you'll excuse me James, I think I heard his mating call." Before James had a chance to say anything Sirius transformed abruptly and sprinted off into the words, Disappearing from sight.

James stared stupified after him, "Snivilus is gay?" He said, dumfounded.


	7. Chapter 6

After a bit of a delay, and lots of laziness, I present you with a chapter.

I had fun writing this one, it went fast despite its length.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

As always, Read and Review if you please.

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Sirius paced the room restlessly, glancing over at Remus every few moments as if to make sure he was still listening. "I was so stupid Remus! I shouldn't have told him. I _knew_ that he wouldn't feel the same way. He must hate me now…I know he does…" Groaning, he slapped his hands to his face and forced himself to breath.

Remus watched Sirius' restless pacing sympathetically, frowning softly. He crossed his arms slowly and shrugged. "I still think James is in denial Sirius. You yourself took your time admitting your feelings to yourself."

Sinking heavily onto the edge of Peter's bed, Sirius nodded slowly. "Yeah…I did. It's just…I thought we had something the other night…when he kissed me back…I thought he would finally tell me that he felt the same." Sirius frowned and stared at his hands, hunching his shoulders. "I guess I was wrong."

Walking over to his unhappy friend, Remus put his hand on Sirius' shoulder gently. He smiled reassuringly and said softly, "Things will work out in the end Sirius. They always do. Now, I promised James I would help him with that homework he left until now. Maybe it would be a good idea to take a nice walk, Sirius, let some steam off."

Sirius nodded slowly and lifted his head, giving his friend a soft smile. "I think I might just do that Rem. Thanks." Grinning, he stood up and slapped Remus on the back before slipping out of the dormitories.

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James looked up from his Potions essay and yawned widely, leaning back in his chair to stretch. Noticing that Remus was staring at him with a thoughtful expression on his face, he frowned. "What?"

Remus frowned and considered his words carefully. "James…I think its time we had a talk…"

Grinning, James dropped his quill onto the blank parchment in front of him and raised an eyebrow. "Having girl problems Remus?"

Pursing his lips disapprovingly, Remus shook his head and stared at James seriously. "No, I'm not having…girl problems." Sighing, he switched tactics quickly. "How's Sirius doing? I haven't seen him all day."

James felt his smile falter and shrugged nonchalantly. "Sirius is fine. He and I had a nice long talk. I told him I don't care if he likes blokes, and he told me he's going to ask Snivellus to the Yule Ball. I think he was kidding about that though." James frowned. "At least I hope he was."

Remus rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows at James. "Think about that for a moment James. Sirius hates Snivellus more than you do. However, that leads us to the topic I wished to discuss with you." Fixing James with a steady and serious look, he went on, "I think it's about time you told Sirius you have feelings for him."

James blinked quickly and sighed. "I told you a million times already Remus, I don't have feelings for Sirius. We're just good mates. You have to be crazy not to see that. I mean, I love Lily. L-I-L-Y. Not Sirius. Now are you going to help me with my homework or not?"

Sighing, Remus shook his head. "I think you'll do your fine on your own. I'm going to go find Sirius." He stood up to go, but paused as James stood up with him.

"Even if I did have feelings for Sirius right now Remus, that doesn't mean I'm gay. I love Lily. These silly feelings will go away, and I'll still love Lily. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going for a walk." James got up from the table and pushed past Remus, unaware of the small smile playing on his friend's lips.

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Sirius let out a loud yawn and stretched back slowly, resting his back against the firm trunk of his favorite tree by the lake. He kicked his boots off lazily and stretched his legs out, settling his arms behind his head and gazing over the lake to the castle, a small smile playing on his lips. Noticing a small figure slipping out of the doors of the castle and heading in his direction, Sirius lifted his head and narrowed his eyes slightly, trying to make out who it was.

The figure's identity soon became quite clear when James pushed his way through the small grove of trees surrounding Sirius' tree and sat down a few feet from him, staring over the lake in a similar fashion. Sirius pretended not to notice him, waiting for James to speak first, which he did.

Clearing hits throat softly, James looked over at Sirius. "Hey…what are you doing out here alone mate?"

Sirius looked over at James finally and shrugged. "Had to get away from the ruckus in the commons. Plus, it's nice out here." He smiled softly and looked back at the lake.

James nodded slowly and glanced at the water, picking up a small stone and throwing it with a flick of his wrist. He watched with satisfaction as it skipped neatly over the water a few times before sinking with a soft _plop._ "It is isn't it…" He trailed off slowly, watching bubbles from the lake monster float to the surface of the lake. "Hey Sir…do you…do you think I seem gay to you?"

Sirius looked over at James quickly, trying to hide his alarm. He frowned, considering his words carefully. "Of course not James. You love Lily, you told me that yourself."

Smiling weakly, James nodded in agreement. "Yeah…I do love Lily." He bit his lip and looked over at Sirius. "I always thought you liked girls."

Feeling his heart clench softly, Sirius shrugged. "Yes…well…I'm good at pretending I guess. I mean hell, I always thought I liked girls too. Up until this year."

James nodded slowly and looked over at Sirius critically. "You're not really asking Snivellus to the Yule Ball are you?" He frowned, watching his friend's reactions.

Sirius scowled and pushed himself up, glaring at James softly. "That was a bloody joke James. You don't honestly think I'd go with someone like that? Just because I happen to like blokes doesn't mean I like every damn one of them."

James blinked and crossed his arms defensively. "What's up with you lately Sirius? You've been taking everything so seriously all of the sudden."

Sirius rose to his feet and turned to face James. Throwing his hands up in the air, he blinked back angry tears desperately. "Oh, I don't know James! Maybe I just came out to my best mate a few days after bloody snogging him! Maybe as of late I've stupidly allowed myself a few seconds, even moments, of believing that perhaps he would feel the same way I do for him, only to find him making jokes and denying everything that's happened!" Sirius narrowed his eyes slightly, trying unsuccessfully to hide the tears now running down his cheeks. "You were my first love James, and now you can claim the title of my first kiss as well. I'm sorry if that means nothing to you." He turned away from James slowly and closed his eyes, letting the tears he fought so hard against fall freely down his already stained face.

Staring at Sirius with wide eyes, James remained on the grass, unsure of what to say or do. He frowned, not used to feeling so confused and speechless. Biting his lip, he rose slowly and moved to stand next to Sirius. "E…Even if I had feelings for you Sirius…I can't do anything about them…I'm with Lily…and we're in love…I can't love you like that Sirius…I'm sorry…"

Sirius nodded slowly, no longer listening. He turned from James again, stepping to the side so their robes no longer touched. Closing his eyes for a moment, he steeled himself for what he was about to say. "There's no reason to be sorry James. I didn't expect anything less." Glancing over at him, he offered a small smile. Crossing his arms softly, he turned away again and walked back towards the lake, leaving James to walk back to the castle alone.

-----------------

James walked through the Common Room quickly, pretending not to see Lily waving to him as he pushed the door to the dormitories open and walked through. Closing the door, he leaned back against it heavily, closing his eyes.

Remus lifted his head as James walked in and raised his eyebrows. "Where's Sirius?"

Jumping at the unexpected voice, James whirled to stare at Remus. He crossed his arms defensively and shrugged. "How would I know?"

Raising his eyebrows slowly, Remus stared at James as if the answer was quite obvious. "You were just talking to him weren't you? Outside by that tree Sirius is always going to. He looked quite upset when I spotted you last. What happened? Did you deny that he loved you again?"

James narrowed his eyes at Remus. Feeling his anger rising, he whirled around and stalked to the window, pointing outside. "That boy does not love me Remus! He's confused, just as I am! Give him enough time and he'll be fine and over me! We'll be best mates again and we'll laugh about this later! Besides, I don't know why you have to bloody interfere anyways Remus! Why are you sticking your bloody nose where it doesn't belong?! No one asked you to try to 'help' us, and you can bloody well butt out!"

Remus growled softly and turned from James, trying to compose himself. Clenching his hands into fists at his sides, he nodded coldly. "Perhaps I'll take your advice James. If you need me, I shall be minding my own business in the library." Forcing his face into a tight smile, he turned and walked out of the dormitories.

Rolling his eyes, James stayed near the window, too absorbed in his own feelings to notice Madam Pomphrey's shrill voice echoing through the Common Rooms and dormitories, announcing that she was "Looking for Remus Lupin." He closed his eyes and muttered, "You're not in love with your best friend James…You're not…It's Sirius…nothing more."

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Sirius wandered around the lake slowly, picking his way through trees until he reached a small area where the shore pressed out into the lake a bit more than usual, forming a tiny peninsula. He walked out onto it slowly, feeling the soft sand with his toe to make sure it was firm enough to stand on before taking a step. Leaning down and scooping out a rock, he stared at it for a few moments. "I was almost happy…why did I let myself believe that I could be…? I was stupid." Staring over the water, he searched the surface for ripples or bubbles. "Hey Mr. Lake Monster…come get me…" Noticing no change in the surface of the water, he whirled back and threw the rock furiously into the water. "I said come get me!!"

He continued to throw stones at the surface, increasing in ferocity with each, until, sobbing angrily, he fell to his knees in the sand. Closing his eyes slowly, Sirius whispered softly. "Bloody hell…even the lake monster doesn't like me…or listen…" He lay on his side and pulled his knees to his chest, resting his head on a rock jutting out of the sand a few feel away from the edge of the water. Ignoring the moisture slowly soaking into his clothes, he closed his eyes and whispered. "I wonder…how long would it take for them to notice I'm missing…if I stayed out here…who would find me…?"

Staring moodily at the water's edge, Sirius would have continued his ramblings if it weren't for the blood-curling howl that pierced the chill night air at that moment, freezing Sirius to the bone. Blinking quickly, he raised his eyes to the full moon positioned directly above him. Feeling his eyes widen, he murmured softly, "B...Bloody hell…Remus…"


	8. Chapter 7

Alright…Here it is. I know you've had a long wait, and I apologize.

Its hard to get back into writing after an almost three week vacation.

As it is, I'm not quite sure I like this chapter as much as I should..

But here's the chapter.

Hopefully you find its worth the wait.

James lay with his head on his arms, face buried in his pillow, trying his best not to think of Sirius and the pain he must have caused him. Despite his efforts, his mind seemed to be on fast forward, a movie screen that focused on the pain that rose in Sirius' big grey eyes the moment James had spoken those hurtful words earlier that night: _"E…Even if I had feelings for you Sirius…I can't do anything about them…I'm with Lily…and we're in love…I can't love you like that Sirius…I'm sorry…" _Sirius had tried hard to hide that they had troubled him, but James knew his best friend too well to not see through the farce. However…there was nothing he could do. He was with Lily, and Sirius would have to accept that and move on.

He frowned softly, thinking back to what Remus had said earlier. _"What happened? Did you deny that he loved you again?" _With the words, Remus' kindly worried face popped into James' mind, staring at him accusingly through otherwise gentle eyes. His frown deepened as a long howl shot through his mind, breaking his trail of thoughts away from Sirius, and making him wonder when the next full moon might be.

A second howl broke through the night, snapping through the night air like a whip crack and breaking James out of his reverie. He blinked quickly, this time certain that he hadn't imagined the howl. Jumping up and running to the window, he looked outside in time to see a large furry canine shape disappear into the forest, heading in the direction of the lake. Doing a few quick calculations in his mind, James felt the chilling truth wash over him. "Remus…"

It took a few moments for his mind to follow Remus' path, and fall upon the boy he had left heartbroken by the lake not that long ago. James felt his heart drop from his chest as his mind exploded with possibilities. Perhaps Sirius had come in not long after James had? He jumped up and burst from the room, skidding into the Common Room and looking around wildly.

"Sirius?! Sirius Black?! Have any of you seen Sirius Black tonight?!" He pushed through a group of surprised first years, jumping at the sight of every raven haired head he passed. Panic shot through him in another surge, and with a last desperate look around the room, he turned and dashed through the portrait hole, headed for the only other place he would expect Sirius to be, and the last place he hoped he'd find him.

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Sirius shivered and stood slowly, flicking his eyes warily over the edge of the forest, waiting to see his indisposed friend burst from the trees at any moment. Thinking quickly, he transformed, no longer relishing the thrills of the transformation rippling through his body, instead thinking only of finding someplace safe to hide until Remus was past. Still seeing no sign of the wolf through the trees, he made a quick decision in his mind and leapt off his peninsula, heading farther into the forest.

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James let the ripples of his transformation break through him quickly, not even breaking stride as he took the form of a large, majestic stag and his speed increasing by tenfold. No longer caring who had seen him, he ran towards the lake, desperation tugging at his heart.

As the lake came fully into view, James slowed down and scanned the shoreline quickly, looking for his friend. Confusion burst into his soft eyes as he found the area deserted, the boy he felt sure would be there absent. He pounded the earth with one hoof in frustration, spotting another soft print as he did so. Stepping closer to it carefully, James spotted a few scattered boot prints leading towards a small peninsula a few feet away, where they switched to paw prints moving quickly in the opposite direction.

He whirled, scanning the forest quickly with his large eyes, flicking his ears. A twig snapped not far from him, and James jumped forward a few steps, listening desperately and stamping his feet impatiently. Finally, the sound of crashing branches and growling drew his attention to a cluster of trees not far from where he stood. Breaking into a full gallop, he burst through the trees in time to see a great grey mass launch itself at a quivering black mass which was pressed tightly against a broad stone outcropping, cornered and unable to defend himself.

James reacted without thinking, springing between the wolf and shaggy dog and lowering his head threateningly. The wolf changed his directions abruptly, skidding in the wet grass slightly and narrowing his yellow eyes at James. Stomping his foot in warning, James turned his eyes on his friend, trying to tell him to back down. Remus snarled in reply, and James realized that his friend was much too intent upon his prey to back down that easily.

The wolf feinted, stepping to the side quickly, testing. James shifted his position just as fast, stepping closer to the wolf and lowering his antlers again. Growling ferociously, Remus feinted to the side again and then threw himself at James with his teeth bared. James winced as a huge paw raked over his side, drawing fresh blood as they sunk in. Silently roaring with pain, he threw himself back and bucked, battering his friend in the face with his sharp hooves and driving him back. Charging forward with antlers down, James swerved to the side at the last moment, making the wolf back away further. He stamped his foot threateningly and continued pressing forward until finally, Remus turned tail and charged back into the forest, letting out a long howl as his tail disappeared between the trees. James snorted softly, satisfied with his work, and turned his head to look over Sirius, who was watching him through his soft puppy eyes, clearly worried for his friend. Moving to step closer, he felt one thing leg collapse under him, then another, until he was falling forward as if in slow motion, his friends shaggy face becoming blurry as darkness took him.

Many of you might be wondering about this chapter.

Why couldn't Sirius defend himself? He is an Animagous and all.

Well…now would be a good time for me to explain.

Sirius is a) in an emotional state at the moment and

b) caught by surprise

Also, I've always believed that James and Sirius had to work together to control Remus…in the best of times. However…they just may surprise you. Either way, I know I wouldn't want to have to deal with an angry werewolf alone. xD

Anyways, that's my bit for the day.


	9. Chapter 8

**Not much to say regarding this chapter,**

**It was a lot of fun to write.**

**Please, Read and Review.**

The rain was coming down like cats and dogs, students were slipping and sliding in the wet grass on their way to take cover from the sudden down pour. The fresh smell of pine needles filled the air as the rain washed away the unfamiliar tracks in the muddy ground. Three sets of paw prints faded away as the rain continued its terror on the Hogwarts grounds.

The rain splattered helplessly against the window of the Gryffindor tower, stirring the companions of the boy's dormitory. A loud groan shattered the silence as Sirius rolled over and ripped the curtain open. He allowed his hand to drop slowly as he regretfully realized last night was not a dream and he would not find the familiar raven-haired boy beside him.

Sirius yawned widely, cringing at the fresh cuts brandishing his beautiful face. Stretching, he swung his feet off the side of his bed and rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"Sirius Black!" Sirius covered his ears as the insulting voice broke through his thoughts. "Bloody flippin' hell Lilligan!" He yelled, trying to mask her shrieks. "Where is he? What have you done to him?!" He glared up at her as he awkwardly tugged the blankets up over his bare chest. "In case you haven't noticed, James isn't in here!"

Rolling her eyes, she snapped back, "I'm not blind Sirius Black! I've looked all over the castle for him. Nobody has seen him and you're his best mate and," she said the word with disgust, "the only person I haven't asked. I know you know where he is."

Sirius listened to her babble on with little surprise, his eyes slowly closing. "Are you listening to me!?" She started again, glaring daggers into his gray eyes, which were now snapped open at attention. "Why should I know where he is Lilligan? He's not _my_ boyfriend. You really should keep a tag on that boy."

"I should keep a tag on you, you mangy mutt, because wherever you are, there he'll be!" Sirius blinked and gawked up at her in disbelief that James had sold all of them out. "What?" Lily said, crossing her arms. "Oh for Pete's sake Sirius, it's a figure of speech!"

He recomposed himself as quickly as he could, trying to disguise his embarrassment and waved her off. "I knew that Lil, I was just testing you. Now do you mind?" He said, dropping the blanket and exposing himself. Gritting her teeth and cringing in disgust, she turned from him and stormed down the stairs, away from the insulting image of the naked boy.

He dressed in record speed and sped down the stairs, eager to meet James before Lily had a chance. But luck wasn't on his side as he spotted the bright haired girl at the bottom of the stairs, tapping her foot impatiently.

He trudged out of the common room, not in the mood for her interrogating questions and her rude accusations. "I honestly could care less Lilligan," he retorted as she began telling him what a bad influence he'd become. "Well you bloody well should! He's suppose to be your best mate, I'm his girlfriend, and as such, you should respect other people!" He snorted, causing the angered girl to shoot him another glare.

"I do respect people Lil! There's Remus, and James, and sometimes I even respect Peter!" Her loud screams filled the hallways as people edged away from the bickering couple. "Oh, you just don't get it Black! Nothing gets past that disgusting, messy, thick hair of yours!"

Sirius pouted, huffing softly, "My hair is not disgusting," he said, put out. This caused the girl to go into another fit of screams. "I hate you Sirius Black! I cannot for the better part of me understand what James sees in you! You're a loathsome, evil little...little..." she let out another loud high pitched scream, "Well I don't know what you are, but I'm sure it's something you would find on the bottom of your shoe!!"

Sirius lifted his foot, glancing down at the bottom of his shoe, "Yes mother." Lily huffed and crossed her arms. They both were silent for a moment as more students filtered into the hallway believing their little spat was over.

"So where is he Black? He's not in the great hall, he's not in the Gryffindor tower, I've talked to Martia Bodsworth and Zachary Mewson, so he's not in the Ravenenclaw or Hufflepuff common rooms."

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets, attempting to brace himself for the next blow. "Did you think to look in the hospital wing?" He muttered bitterly. He cringed away as a fresh round of shrieking and wailing began. "What did you do to him!?" She demanded, tears welling up in her big green eyes.

"The Whomping Willow got him Lilligan. We were trying to fish my bag out of the roots." Tears spilled messily from her eyes as she began smacking him across the chest, speaking through sobs. "Sirius Black you irresponsible prat! You're going to kill him one of these days!" A new round of yelling began again as they pushed through the doors to the infirmary, both voices accusing.

James lifted his head and tried to fix his eyes on the blurry objects that were getting closer and louder to him. "James!" New tears spilled from the girls eyes as she flung her arms around the boy, knocking him back into the bed and making him cringe at the shooting pain.

"Here mate," Sirius muttered, shoving his glasses into the boys hand. James awkwardly shoved the glasses onto his face and wrapped his arms around the sobbing girl clinging to his neck.

"Lily, it's okay. I'm alright. Please Lily, calm down." She stifled her sobs, and sniffling, she pulled back, shooting Sirius questionable glances. Before either of the two could get a word in, Madame Pomphrey swept down, shoving a glass of bubbling green goop into his hand.

"No visitors today!" She said harshly. "This boy is in no condition," she shot James a warning glance as he attempted to sit up. "Drink that," she said, pointing towards the insulting drink. She turned towards the pair and narrowed her eyes as they both began protesting. "Five minutes! I'll be back to check on you later Potter," she held up five fingers warningly towards his friends and scurried off to help a boy a few beds down.

James set the drink down and gave a sigh of relief, his eyes traveling up to Sirius and Lily. Lily let out a gasp, the tears beginning to fall once again as she gawked at the cuts and scratches covering his face. Sirius cringed and looked away. James laughed hollowly, "She said the gash healed," he said pointing towards the scar on the left side of his face, "But the cuts will have to heal on their own."

Lily turned her accusing eyes towards Sirius, "This is all your fault!" Sirius stood there, his eyes traveling over his bruised friend. "Lily, please," James said, tugging on her cloak. "I wasn't watching where I was headed-" "and the Whomping Willow took you by surprise," Sirius interjected.

James stared up at him, dumbfounded. "I already told her you were trying to get my bag back from the Whomping Willow," Sirius replied to the puzzled look on James' face with a small smile of satisfaction. Lily turned back to James, eying him with suspicion. "Oh. Oh right!" James said, inwardly smacking himself. "Can't trust that Whomping Willow," he forced a laugh.

Sirius nodded as she glanced between the two boys unbelievingly. "Next time fetch your own bag Sirius Black," she sat down gently on the edge of the bed and forced the green mess back into his hands. James drank, scrunching his face up in disgust.

"James, how are you.." Sirius began. "How do you think he is?" Lily cut in, "You almost killed him for Pete's sake." "It wasn't that bad," James muttered. "James! You don't have to defend him all the time. He nearly got you beheaded, look at your face!"

"Oh come off it Lilligan! James is a big boy, it's not like he didn't know what he was doing." "If you hadn't forced him!" "I never forced him to do anything!" "Oh save it for the nuns Sirius Black. I don't understand why James would even hang out with you."

"Will you two stop!!" The sudden explosion ceased their bickering as they stared down at James. "James, honey...Are you alright?" "No I'm not alright! All you two do is argue and blame each other for everything." "James!" She shrieked, "He's a bad influence. Can't you see the damage he's done. He's ruining everything good in your life." She glared over towards Sirius and flicked her wand twice.

Sirius jumped back as the curtains around the two closed as the loud voices ceased. "Silencing charm," Sirius muttered and slumped against the wall.

"This is all my fault," the sudden voice made Sirius jump and glance around in apprehension. Remus slowly sat up, rubbing his aching arm. "Remus...I didn't see you there." Remus chuckled gently and stared over at his friend through worn eyes. Sirius stared back at Remus, his clothes had been torn to shreds and he looked rumpled, exhausted and battered.

"Rough night," Sirius grumbled and Remus gave a small nod in his direction. "Rough night indeed. I'm sorry I've gotten you all into this mess. James and Lily and y-" "It's fine Remus. James and I, we understand. It's Lily we have a problem with. No one blames you Remus, you come off the worst each night."

The curtain opened slightly as the arguing burst through. "Can I say something Lily!?" "If you're defending the mongrel then no, you may not!"

Sirius and Remus both tried desperately to ignore the two, but the more heated they got, the louder their voices seemed to grow.

"It's either me or them James Potter!" She seethed, breathing heavily. "I choose them Lil." She stared at him disbelieving. "Excuse me?" "I said I choose them. You make my friends out to be the villains Lily, but they don't tell me who's good for me and who's not. I'm not a baby! I can see that for myself, and what I see is that we're not good for each other."

Tears sprang to Lily's eyes as she turned from the boy, wiping her eyes harshly on her cloak sleeve. "I hope you know what you're doing James. Giving up the only good thing your life!"

She tore open the curtains and turned towards Sirius, "Look what you've done to him!" She screamed, half sobbing. "I hate you." She spat and turned from the scene in a fury.

James blinked after her, his eyes slowly shifting towards Sirius, then finally registering on Remus. "D..Didn't see you there Rem..." James wiped away the single tear rolling down his cheek, afraid that both of them had seen.

"James I am so.." James held up his hand, silencing the werewolf. "Don't be." "James, you can talk to us.." Sirius piped up, but James quickly shook his head. "Moony, you okay?" He asked, gesturing towards the scruffy looking boy. Remus gave a half nod, "And you, Prongs?"

James laughed bitterly, "Never been better."

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The dorm room erupted into another fit of laughter. "And get this," Sirius said between laughing as he nodded over towards James, who had his arm slung around two girls. "He goes in, after the bag!" The girls gave a shriek and giggled as the batted their eyelashes down at both the boys. Sirius grinned over at James. His grinned faltered slightly as his eyes narrowed at the girls clinging to his best mate.

"Are you okay?" One of the girls asked, swooning over James. He waved her off slightly, puffing his chest up. "It doesn't hurt." She leaned up to touch the cut and he cringed away, causing the group to erupt in laughter again.

James shrugged off the girls and they whined softly, pouting up at them. "It's been a long day girls," James said, grinning cockily down at them. Sirius rolled his eyes and watched his friend become him for a shining moment. The group filtered away and Sirius and James were left standing alone.

"Alright there James?" James nodded and grinned guiltily over at Sirius. "Just sore, I think I'm headed for the baths." Sirius nodded to him and watched his friend depart the common room and he let out the breathe he had been holding the whole time.

-----------------------------------------

"Snigglefish," James muttered to the portrait in front of the prefects bathroom. He slipped inside, allowing the towel around his waist to drop to the floor with the rest of his clothing. He turned the knobs to the tub, standing there naked, watching as the water filled up to the brim. James leaned his head back, ignoring the knocking against the wall behind him. "If it's Snivellus, go away." Sirius snorted behind him and crossed his arms, "You have no idea how grateful I am that I'm not that greasy git."

James leaned his head back and eyed his upside down friend. "Makes two of us," he laughed coolly. Sirius shrugging the towel from his waist, missing the way James had watched him from the corner of his eye. Reaching over, he spun the knob of his favorite bubbles and slumped down into the water. "Like Snivellus would know the password James."

"Somehow I knew it was you Pad." James leaned back against the tub and turned off the bubbles spouting from the sprout, much to Sirius' dismay. Sirius absentmindedly flicked a bubble and watched as it bounced around the tub like a rubber ball. "I'd hope so Prongs, otherwise you might be in the tub with a fat ugly git of a Slytherin right now."

"_Fat_ chance," James retorted. The room fell silent for a long time as Sirius played with bubbles, watching them bounce around the tub. "Did Lily really hate you that much?" James said, gesturing towards the long cut along Sirius' left arm.

Sirius glanced down at his arm and sunk lower into the water. "Shoulda' heard her earlier when she found out you were in the Wing." James cringed, "That bad?" Sirius shrugged and attempted to pop one of the rubbery bubbles. "I saw her as a bloody hell of an amazing person. She's smart, she's beautiful, she's just everything, you know?"

Sirius snorted, "No, I don't know James. I was probably too focused on the screaming and constant accusations whenever you weren't near." He scooted closer to the boy and turned his arm over to reveal another deep scratch. "Lilligan's work." He turned his hand over, exposing more. "She was everything to you, but no one else."

James eyes widened as he reached out to grab Sirius' hand for a closer look. "My Lily did this to you...?" He brushed his fingers over the scar marring his hand. "Vicious little thing when she's worried about you mate.." A shiver ran up Sirius' spine as he tried to ignore the touches on his hand.

"Least she cared about me.." James said bitterly, dropping his hand and lifting eyes to stare back at Sirius. "And so do I.." James felt his face grow suddenly hot as he cleared his throat nervously. "I think you proved that the other day." Sirius' face turned as pink as James' as he tried to remain calm. "I hope so...So you remember then?"

James shrugged, smiling faintly. "Very little. I never realized how strong you were, carrying my weight the way you did."

Sirius pouted, "I'll pretend I didn't hear you say that. How did you know it was me?" James snorted and stared at his best friend. "Like you'd really leave me there to fetch someone to get me?"

Sirius blushed and stumbled over his words. "It would have been hell of a lot easier if my bloody wand hadn't snapped." "Your wand snapped?" James asked in disbelief.

Sirius grinned a silly grin, "Do you think I would have carried you if it hadn't?! You're not exactly a lightweight James. Ease off the Quidditch if you decide to take on Remus and pass out again."

"Warn me next time you go on moonlit strolls on a full moon," James retorted, rolling his eyes. He fixed his eyes on the deep cut on Sirius' arm and silently moved closer to stare at it.

Sirius stood painfully still while James examined him. "Have anymore?" He finally spoke up. "Hm? Oh, yeah," Sirius laughed embarrassingly. He pointed to the small cut on his lips. James raised his eyebrow and eyed the cut incredulously. "Is that really from Lilly?" A grin broke out across Sirius' face and he shook his head. "Nah, I'm just playing with ya' mate."

James shook his head and slunk back down into the water. Suddenly Sirius was hovering close to the boy as cool gray eyes stared into chocolate brown. "Maybe it would feel better if you kissed it," Sirius said smugly. James eyes widened and Sirius rolled away from him, bursting into laughter. "I was kidding Ja-" but suddenly hot lips covered his own stopping him mid sentence.

They broke away and James closed his eyes as Sirius watched him, knowing the denial that would spew from James' lips. "You're my best mate..." Sirius closed his eyes tightly, preparing himself for the next blow. "But somehow it feels right," James finished.

Sirius leaned over, pressing his lips back against James'. "I don't care," he murmured against the boy, "If you wake up tomorrow and regret everything," he pulled away and pressed his lips against James cool skin. "But It's always felt right to me..." he said.

James laughed gently, causing the boy to pull back and glare down at him. "What is so funny?" James covered his mouth and shook his head in silent apology. "Nothing. I just never realized how easy this feels," he stumbled embarrassingly. Sirius rolled his eyes and slumped back against the tub.

James stared over at Sirius, scooting closer to place his head on the pouting boys shoulder. "I guess it's taken me a life time to figure this out hey." Sirius grunted in reply. "You have amazingly soft lips," James finished.

They both broke out into grins, each turning a little pinker. "So what now?" James asked. "I guess that's up to you James...You know how I feel, how I've always felt." James hesitated for the slightest moment, "If you leave me broken hearted at the alter..." James warned teasingly as he lifted himself from the tub. Sirius grinned along and tossed a towel towards the boy as he wrapped another around his waist.

"Wouldn't even dream of it."


	10. Chapter 9

Yes, this was fast. I'm on a writing binge I suppose you could say.

And, I'm proud to announce, I am officially a little more than halfway done with this story.

Enjoy!

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Grumbling unintelligibly, the scruffy raven haired boy rolled over, pulling his blankets over his head and curling into a ball around his pillow, which was mashed unceremoniously into his face. The boy who had previously been nestled against him grunted softly and opened his eyes, glancing over at his friend and grinning mischievously. Reaching up to where Sirius was holding his blanket around him like a life line, James grabbed the edge and tugged sharply, exposing the naked boy to the morning chill. Ignoring Sirius' roar of protest, he grinned wider and leaned down close to his ear, murmuring softly, "Morning Padfoot."

Sirius opened his eyes slowly, turning his head and glaring up at James with murder in his eyes. Noting the boys cheerful mood, he blinked blearily and mumbled, "Morning Prongs."

James laughed softly and dropped the blanket back onto Sirius, watching him snatch it up and rewrap himself in his warm cocoon. Glancing around the room, he noted that Peter's trunk was back in its place under his bed, although the dormitories were deserted except for him and Sirius. Shrugging, he walked over to his own bed and dug through his trunk, pulling out clean robes and shrugging into them quickly.

"Peter's back from holidays Sir." The bundle on the bed gave a small grunt and squirmed. James frowned. "Are you going to come greet our friend or not? If you won't get out of bed for him, at least come down for breakfast. I've never known you to skip a meal." The bundle gave what sounded like a muffled cough and rose slowly, turning towards James. Sirius dropped his blankets slowly, exposing his flyaway hair standing in all directions. James bit back a roar of laughter, settling instead for a snort that turned quickly into a coughing fit.

Sirius threw another murderous glare at the boy across from him and narrowed his eyes. "Don't bloody know what's so flippin' funny James." Barely holding back snickers, James pointed at his friends hair and smirked. "Your head looks like a bloody pygmy puff mate."

Eyes widening, Sirius launched himself out of bed and rushed to his mirror, groaning loudly as he realized his friend was right. "I'm so glad I made Remus teach me that hair relaxing spell." He walked back to his bed, automatically reaching towards the place where his wand should have been. Finding nothing, he frowned and glanced down, closing his eyes at realization dawned on him.

James frowned sympathetically as he watched his friend rush from his trunk to the mirror frantically, eying the boy appreciatively as he smoothed various potions into his hair, apparently unaware or simply not caring that he was stark naked. Only after his hair was reasonably controlled did Sirius turn around, raising his eyebrows at James slowly. "Like what you see, Mr. Potter?" He smirked and crossed his arms, watching his friend's face turn bright pink.

Stumbling a bit over his words after being caught, James smirked softly. "Not even." He turned from Sirius, sneaking one last peak before busying himself with folding his pajamas and tucking them back into his trunk. Sirius smirked wider and replied without thinking, spreading his arms cockily. "I'll have you know this body happens to be in the dreams of most girls in this school mate." He turned to his own trunk and began pulling on fresh clothes for the day, missing James as he suddenly spun to face him. James narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "Like I didn't know that Black," he hissed, turning away slowly and pushing his way out of the dormitories.

Sirius blinked slowly, shoving his feet into his boots and glancing after James. He broke into a trot and caught up to his friend quickly, slipping an arm around his shoulders. "Was that a hint of jealousy I detected in that voice of yours James?" "I have no idea what your talking about Sirius. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm hung-"

James broke off abruptly, feeling his eyes travel down the Gryffindor table and fall upon his ex-girlfriend, her hand on the shoulder of a blonde haired boy he distantly remembered was in the year below theirs. Clenching his fists, he brushed away the emotions threatening to take hold of him and walked down to the other end of the table, falling heavily into the seat next to Remus. Not noticing his friends' concerned glances, he looked over at Lily, who was now laughing at something the blonde bloke had said.

Having followed James' gaze each time he looked away from his friends, Sirius quickly noted the object of his friend's distraction. He silently cursed Lily, knowing full well which game she was playing. Frowning deeply, he turned his back on Lily and faced James, reaching over and dropping a stack of toast into a napkin as he did so. "Mate…let's walk and talk alright? I've got the grub." At James' nod, he offered small smiles to both Remus and Peter. "Nice to have you back Pete."

--------------------------

As soon as the two were out of the great hall, James turned to Sirius with pain burning in his eyes. "She's already found someone new Sirius…just like that…it hasn't even been a day…did I really mean that little to her?" His forehead furrowed in confusion, and his liquid brown eyes begged for reassurance. Sirius frowned, unsure of how to best comfort his friend. Finally, he shook his head. "No…James…you meant the world to her…even I could see that…in fact…I think she's with that other bloke because she wants to make you jealous. Jealous enough to ask her to come back." Keeping his eyes on James, he led him in the direction of their favorite shade tree, finally dropping down onto the grass and pulling James down next to him.

Eyes suddenly alight with hope, James raised his head and stared at Sirius. "You really think that's it…?" He frowned, shaking his head. "Why would it matter…she made me choose…and I chose you guys."

Sirius stared back at James, fighting back the pain he felt at his friend's hopeful face, and nodded. "I think that's it." He leaned forward and put his hand on James' shoulder, hesitating. "Mate…it was wrong that you had to choose…no one should be forced to choose between…the one they…love…and their mates. It's not fair."

James laughed harshly, nodding. "Well Lily did, and I made my choice. Besides…even if I don't have Lily…I have you…" Smiling halfheartedly, he leaned back against the tree, folding his arms behind his head and sighing softly. Sirius nodded. "Always will mate."

The two boys were silent for awhile, content in each others company, staring out over the lake and smiling to themselves at the antics of the students across the lake, who were throwing pebbles to the lake monster and shrieking as he splashed and threw them back. Finally, James turned his gaze back to Sirius and said softly, "I did like what I saw Sirius." He smiled softly and continued hesitantly. "Even before."

Sirius blushed, turning his face away so James couldn't see. Grinning cockily, he murmured, "I knew it." Picking up a stone, he skipped it lazily across the lake and smiled. "I think it goes without saying that I've liked what I've seen for as long as I can remember."

Raising his eyebrows softly, James turned to Sirius and grinned. "Even in our first year?" Nudging him playfully, he went on, "I do have one question though. How could Remus have known? I mean, even I didn't know."

Smiling, Sirius nudged James back and grinned. "Yes, even if you were a scrawny little firstie git back then." He frowned softly, looking back over the water and shrugging. "I don't know…perhaps he saw what I thought I had hidden so well...smart boy, that Remus is. And now that I think about it, it was never all that normal that we slept together.

James blushed and grinned. "Sure it was! Two boys, best of friends, sleeping together for comfort?" He shook his head and grinned wider. "It does seem a little weird…even if I did enjoy it…"

"I suppose if we used my old problems as an excuse…it was perfectly normal." Sirius smiled and nodded softly. "I enjoyed it as well James…it was nice knowing I had someone to talk to about my mum…"

James nodded slowly, watching his friend's grey eyes begin to glaze over with the memories. Chewing his lip thoughtfully, he frowned. "Sirius?" "Hm?" "Where are you going to go? I mean…after we finish school…"

Sirius blinked, clearing his mind of his earlier thoughts and frowned softly, sucking on his bottom lip thoughtfully. "I dunno James…I guess I never thought about it…I'll…probably get my own place somewhere, try to find a job that I can live with…"

James snorted. "Like you'll have a problem finding a job with those looks." Smirking bitterly, Sirius shook his head. "Looks aren't everything James. Look at how badly I did on my O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s." "Oh, they weren't that bad Sir. Not as good as Remus', but still, you did better than Peter!" Sirius snorted. "Like that's something to be proud of. Did worse than you, you should get an amazing job James. Might even do better than Remus…he'll have trouble wherever he goes…"

James frowned softly, forgetting his own future for the moment and turning his mind to his unfortunate friend. "Poor bloke…knowing him…he probably thinks about that daily…" His gaze wandered away from the lake, sweeping over the grounds of the school, his attention perking as his eyes fell upon two familiar figures walking steadily in their direction. Nudging Sirius softly, he nodded towards the figures and smiled. Sirius nodded his acknowledgment and the two turned back to their conversation, glancing back at their friends occasionally. "I've never really stopped to think about my future…my life after Hogwarts…" James trailed off, turning to stare up at Sirius. "Sir…you'll love me won't you?"

Sirius turned his head slightly, staring into James' eyes and nodding. "Always will James…I don't think I could have it any other way…"

Satisfied, James nodded and frowned softly, feeling himself blush again. "I've never done this Sirius…never been with…well…a guy…it was always Lily…just Lily…" He frowned more and went on, "Not that we did anything."

Grinning nervously, Sirius shrugged. "Well…your still a step ahead of me James. I've never been with anyone. We can learn together…if that's what you want…" He blushed deeply and watched James nervously, wondering if he'd gone too far. To his relief, James nodded. "Together." He grinned and jumped up suddenly, startling Sirius. Trotting forward, he slipped an arm around Remus and Peter's shoulders and pulled them forward.

"What do you say we have a little fun tonight boys, one last celebration before the holidays are over?" He smirked softly, feeling his mind turn. "And I have just the plan for it."


	11. Chapter 10

**I am so sorry!  
I know I haven't updated in forever, things just kept piling up.  
But, the chapter is now here!**

**WARNING: This chapter DOES contain SLASH.  
Read at your own risk.**

**With that said and now,  
READ AND REVIEW!**

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The room was empty as he glanced around in anticipation. James dropped the bottles onto the table in front of his friends, grinning like a fool. "Here it is boys. There are 16 bottles here. Remus, you're drinking tonight," he held up his hand to silence the boys protests. "I don't want to hear it. This is our last night before the holiday ends and everyone's drinking."

He nudged the sandy haired boy in the ribs gently and tossed him a bottle of fire whiskey. Sirius' eyes lit up as he eyed the bottles appreciatively. "Sixteen?" He asked, grinning wider. "That'll be five for me" he pulled five towards him, shoving four into his pockets, and popping the cap off the fifth to take a large swig. "And five for you and Moony. So that leaves one for peter because he's a lightweight!" He grinned at his not so ingenious plan.

The mood in the room was light as they sat drinking firewhiskey after firewhiskey. Sirius leaned back in his chair and let out an enormously long belch as he smacked his lips happily, feeling tipsy as he did so. The group erupted into laughter and Peter patted Sirius on the back. "Nice one Sirius!" He chimed. "Slow down Padfoot," Remus warned him wearily, ignoring the unopened bottles in front of him.

"I plan to do exactly that!" Sirius chimed, reaching across the table to grab another heavy bottle. He popped the cap and downed the liquid, hiccuping as he finished the last drops of the burning liquid. He let out another loud belch and eyed Remus' unopened bottles appreciatively.

The werewolf sighed and pushed the bottles over towards him. "I don't feel right in helping you forget who you are in the morning." James clapped Remus on the back, downing his 6th bottle. "Oh don't worry about it Rem," he said, hiccuping, "Sirius has trouble remembering who he is when he's sober." Sirius glowered at him, "I'll have you know my name is Alberic Grunnion!"

Peter and James burst into laughter, Remus shaking his head at the stupidity of the boy.

Loosening his tie, James tossed it onto the floor, leaning comfortably back in his chair. They watched, drinking and laughing, as first years fled by in fear of the rowdy boys.

The laughter slowly died down and the mood seemed to be settling in. "Truth or Dare, Remus?" James asked, breaking the silence. "I..What?" Remus asked him, stupefied. Sirius lay on the floor, holding his sides as he snickered. "He said truth or dare Rem! Come on, pick one."

"I guess...Truth.." Remus said hesitantly. James pondered for a moment, considering his question carefully. "Is it true you slept with Maryce in Ravenclaw?" They leaned in, watching as his eyes widened and he began to stutter. "You didn't!" Sirius gawked at him, unbelievably drunk.

Reaching over, he slapped him the back, making the boy choke and stutter more. "Why didn't you tell us mate?! Congratulations." Remus groaned and ducked away from them. "I didn't say anything!" He said, but the boys had moved on. "Remus, it's your turn!"

Remus shook his head and picked himself up on the floor. "I will not be participating in your childish games," He said, sitting down in the chair farthest from their activity. "Truth or dare, Sirius," Peter piped in. Both boys turned their attention to him, twin grins plastered their faces. Sirius picked another bottle up from the table and took a large drink. "Dare," he finally replied. "I dare you to...touch that girls arse in the corner!" He said, giggling.

James eyes widened and he narrowed his eyes at Peter. "I don't think that's appropriate Peter!" Sirius snorted as he lifted himself slowly from the chair, swaying as he did so. "Done." He swaggered over towards the group of fifth years huddled in the corner.

He slid down onto the couch, nestling himself between two blushing girls. Leaning over, he whispered softly into his target's ear, making her giggle and squeal in delight. Slowly his hand made its way down her body. He turned his head back and smirked at Peter. James shook his head as Sirius turned his attention back to the girl. He slipped away from the swooning girl who stared at him longingly and staggered back cockily towards his friends.

He slumped down beside James and draped his arm around his shoulder. James narrowed his eyes, seething quietly. "Your. Turn. Padfoot." Sirius cocked his eyebrow at the murderous look on James face but shrugged it off. "Alright, James, truth or dare?" He raised his hand, attempting to point at James, but the room was spinning and he couldn't think coherently.

Clenching his fists at his sides, James replied heatedly, "Dare." He crossed his arms tightly over his chest and glared at the group of girls who were watching them curiously. Sirius began picking up empty bottles, shaking them, checking for any drops of firewhiskey. "I dare you to kiss Remus," he told James nonchalantly. Both James and Remus' eyes had popped out of their heads, as they stared at the dark haired bloke in shock. Remus set down the book he was pretending to be interested in and attempted to glare at Sirius."Is that it?" James asked, getting to his feet.

A small smirk began to form on his face as he closed the distance between himself and Remus. "You look scared Moony," James cooed, staring down into his hazel eyes. Remus turned his head, embarrassed, and in an attempt to escape the alcoholic scent seeping from the boys mouth. "I'm not bloody scared. This is silly James, go sit back down," he demanded of the boy, attempting to push him away.

James just shook his head, sliding his hand delicately underneath the smaller boy's chin, bringing his eyes reluctantly up to face him. He closed the distance even more, pressing their lips together delicately, ignoring the gasp which may have come from Sirius.

Remus involuntarily gasped as their lips collided. James pressed into him more, rubbing his tongue slowly along Remus' bottom lip. More gasps erupted around the room as all eyes were fixed on them. Dark steely gray eyes bore into the back of their heads as Sirius cleared his throat loudly. Reaching over, he grabbed James armed and wheeled him away from the flushed werewolf. "That's enough already!"

The girls in the room whimpered in protest quietly as the kiss ceased. James swayed, feeling dazed as he moved his eyes to the larger boy. He smirked gently, eying the boy apprehensively. "Weren't enjoying yourself Sirius?" Narrowing his eyes, Srius hissed out in a low voice, "Your turn James."

The night progressed as their frivolous game continued long into morning. James had dared Peter to streak through the common room, Peter had Sirius confessing he subscribed to Playwizard, and Sirius found out that James has a thing for woman with small breasts, much to his pleasure, seeing as he had small "_breasts" _himself.

The common room was nearly empty; Peter lay snoring, passed out on the floor, even though he had barley drank a drop. "Truth or Dare?" James asked Sirius, yawning as he did so. "Truth," Sirius replied, boredom evident in his reply. "Is it true your first kiss was with a boy?" Remus slowly lowered his book and stared out at the boys, listening carefully.

Sirius had stiffened slightly as he glanced around the room nervously, his eyes never falling on anything for more than a second. "I choose not to answer that." "Do you want to be known as a greasy git? The game is Truth or Dare Sirius, not chicken," James told him.

Sirius narrowed his eyes gently at the innocent plant in the far corner. "I'm not Snivellus," he paused for a moment, ignoring how Remus was slowly inching closer to them. "Yes, my first kiss was with a boy. His names was James Potter," he finished, smirking as he did so.

A small satisfied smile danced on the werewolves lips as he snapped his book shut. "He's a liar!" James yelled, jumping to his feet. Sirius stared up at James, raising his eyebrow, daring him to deny it again. "I'm sure Remus could vouch for me, right mate?" Remus' eyes sparkled softly in the light as he smiled over at his friend. "I know nothing Sirius, sorry to be of no help."

The soft sound of teeth grinding could be heard as James clenched his fists at his sides. He glared murderously at the gawking girls watching them. Suddenly James lunged forward, pushing Sirius backwards over the chair and pinning him to the ground. The surprised boy gasped as they tumbled back and James hovered over him, panting gently.

"Y...You made me spill my whiskey you git!" He stuttered, still in shock. Remus watched the scene in front of him, amusement flickering in his eyes. "I don't know what happened between you two; but I can vouch for you if you do it now," he said, secrecy glimmering in his hazel eyes.

"R..Remus!" They said in unison. He shrugged gently and tucked the book underneath his arm. "You two are hopeless idiots," he told them bluntly. Sirius snorted softly and reached up, curling his fingers tightly in the raven locks on the back of James head. "I am no idiot," Sirius stated. Everyone in the common room was on the edge of their seats, the girls swooning. The hand on the back of James head gave a small push as Sirius drove James head down to meet his lips.

The hesitant moments passed quickly as James' hand found its way into Sirius' messy black hair, the other hand resting gently on his jaw. The room faded around the boys as their tongues battled for dominance over the other. Their bodies rubbed together creating friction, groans escaped their lips as they groped at their uniforms, trying to tug anything off they could get their hands on.

A flash of red hair flew by them, followed by loud, obnoxious sobs. James jerked back against Sirius' grip on his hair, causing the boy underneath him to groan out in protest. "What's with the-" He followed James' gaze in time to see the red hair flying out the portrait hole. "Fuck," James and Sirius both muttered.

James slipped off Sirius, rolling to the side and letting his head fall back infront of his face. Closing his eyes he began muttering selective curse words under his breath over and over. Sirius shifted slightly, trying to calm the way his flesh had tingled moments before. "So, we'll get back to it then?" Sirius said, staring at him hopefully.

James eyes snapped open, his eyes flicking towards the boy beside him. "You stupid git!" Picking himself up off the floor, James retreated to the safety of the dormitories. Sirius blinked softly in confusion after him. He sighed softly and shook his head, grabbing Remus' hand as he hoisted him up. "Well, that was interesting," Remus remarked.

Sirius ignored Remus and followed James, pushing open the dormitory door. The loud familiar thwack was heard as he kicked off his large boots. The room was dark as he stumbled around, finally collapsing onto his bed. Closing his eyes, he allowed the affects of his alcohol binge to wear off. The weight on the bed sunk and Sirius could feel the warm breath of another against his neck.

"James?" He was granted a soft murmur in reply. Sirius closed his eyes once again as he felt the weight of his body pressing down against his own. "Sirius, you're a git, you know that?" James whispered, tracing the outlines of the boys lips with his own. He was rewarded with a small gasp and a feeble nod.

Slowly James began to trail his lips down, kissing the sensitive skin along the larger boys collarbone. Sirius hummed softly, leaning into the newly found affection. "I was sure you were angry at me," Sirius murmured. "Oh I am," the other boy replied. His hands slid down, undoing each button on Sirius' shirt, causing Sirius to squirm.

Th boy below James began to whimper as James pushed the silky material off his body. It was impossible to see the pale smooth skin of the boy below him, but his hands roamed, feeling it underneath his fingertips.

Sirius arched his back as the smaller boy began to place soft, burning kissing against his chest, trailing a small path down his stomach until he reached his naval. His tongue flicked out gently as he swirled it around the boys stomach, sliding his tongue back up the boys body.

Sirius' breath quickened, his back arching more and he groaned loudly as the the warmth of James mouth covered his nipple. Soft moans and whimpers filled the silent night as James licked, grazing his teeth softly over the hardening bud.

James pulled away and mimicked his actions with the other nipple, causing another loud moan to escape from the dark haired boys mouth. He pulled back and surveyed Sirius as he whithered beneath him.

"Please.." Sirius whispered quietly. James slowly moved his hands down the curves of his body. "Please!" He urged him. His hands roamed over the material of his pants, rubbing the growing bulge.

James could no longer deny the boy as he began to tug down the formal black pants. Sirius lay panting, shivering as the cold air washed over his exposed skin. Although the cold air caused him to shiver, the hot kisses James was placing over his exposed hips made his skin burn with desire. "Please," he whispered again, desperation on the edge of his words.

James tsked softly and shook his head at the boy. "You're not off the hook after what you did tonight," he murmured. James continued on his path, placing ravenous kisses along Sirius' hips, ignoring the soft pleads coming from the boy above.

Slowly he pulled back, looping his fingers underneath the red boxers the boy was sporting. "May I?" James whispered. Sirius' face by now was thoroughly flushed as he lay groaning and silently cursing the boy.

"Shut up Prongs and get to it!" Sirius insisted. A hollow laughed escaped James lips as he shook his head and began to slowly peel away the remaining clothes. James had seen Sirius naked plenty of times; they were boys after all. There was no shame in showering with your mates, but James had never taken notice of how Sirius' body was perfectly smooth and deliciously pale until now.

He hadn't cared to notice until now that the moonlight shone off Sirius' skin, making him glow, and the way his cock twitched when he gazed upon the boy. For a moment he was speechless as he drank in every inch of Sirius. It wasn't until Sirius began to squirm and whimper again that his attention was brought back to the present.

He hovered over Sirius, hesitant as to what to do. "I've...I've never done this before. Least not with anyone else.." he confessed. Sirius slowly opened his eyes and stared up at the nervous boy, feeling his eyes soften as he did so.

"You can't tell me you've never masturbated before," Sirius said, propping himself up. The blush on James face darkened. "Course you have," Sirius replied for him, "It's not as if you're quiet about it." James placed his hand onto the boys chest, pushing him down.

He pressed their lips together, silencing the boy from anymore embarrassing stories. "Shut up Padfoot," he murmured dangerously. James bit down on Sirius' bottom lip, causing him to gasp and his lips to part. The hand on Sirius' chest slowly began moving down until his fingertips were brushing against the boys cock, causing his hips to buck.

Sirius' moans could be heard, bouncing off the dormitory walls as the hand on his cock gradually began to stroke harder. "J..James.." Sirius moaned as his hips bucked, pumping himself in James hand. James had moved away from Sirius' lips as he trailed them down onto his jaw.

Sirius moaned and whimpered at the hungry kisses being placed along his jaw line. It has been so long since Sirius had felt another hand, other than his own. His hips rocked with the rhythmic movements James' hand was making. Suddenly he was cumming, hard and violently, spilling himself over James' hand. Sirius leaned back against James, whose eyes were wide, staring at the sticky mess dripping from his hands.

Small moans escaped Sirius' lips as his hips began to slow down now that James hand had ceased movement. They lay there, James watching the way Sirius' chest rose and fell. "I..I don't know where that came from," James finally spoke. "Don't talk Prongs." The silence settled between them, all that could be heard was the heavy breathing of the boys. "Padfoot?" Sirius grunted, obviously not wanting to be disturbed.

"Did you remember to put a silencing charm on the curtains?" Sirius opened his eyes slowly and stared at James. "I don't have a wand," he reminded him. Both boys shot up, tearing the curtains open to reveal and empty room.

Breathing a sigh of relief, they rearranged themselves, laying down next to each other. Quiet laughter filled the silence as Sirius allowed himself to breath, seeing that James wasn't panicking. "I'm still angry at you," James muttered. Sirius turned into James, wrapping his arms around the boy. "Of course you are James, of course you are." It didn't take long for both of them to fall asleep, listening to the sounds of their breathing, and hearts beating as one.


	12. Chapter 11

**Oh my gosh…Can you believe it? It's been three months coming for this update, and I'm so very sorry for that.  
Things have been crazy what with school, and many other projects constantly coming up.  
But I swear I'm not going to give up on this story.  
I have it all planned out, it just comes down to getting it on paper.  
Or on a word document in this case.  
I apologize to you all, hopefully I've still got some readers left.  
And on with the chapter!  
WARNING: This chapter DOES contain SLASH  
PS: Read and Review please**

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As the morning hours drew on, the sun rose with its usual cheery glow and shown through the window, piercing the gap in the curtain around the bed in which two raven haired boys slept intertwined. The beam of light drifted slowly over the soft blankets, finally settling on the face of one Sirius Black, who groaned and rolled over, shoving his face into the shoulder of his companion. James shifted slightly, rolling his head directly into the sun beam and groaning softly. Shielding his eyes and opening them slowly, he blinked down at his bedmate. "Sirius?"

At the words, Sirius groaned loudly and rolled over onto his stomach, pressing his face deeply into his pillow and shielding his ears. Not removing his face, he mumbled sleepily, "Don't have to bloody yell James."

James snorted softly and rolled away, opening his curtains to reveal a smug looking Moony sitting on his bed and surveying them with a thoughtful expression on his face. Blinking slowly, he glanced down and blanched, suddenly embarrassed at his apparent nudity. Although he had been naked around his mates before, there was something wholly embarrassing about being naked in the _same_ _bed_ as his best mate, especially with his other friend seeing them in such a situation. Groaning with humiliation, he reached over and snatched the covers off of Sirius, revealing the other boy's bare body. Sirius hissed and grabbed a pillow quickly, covering himself and glaring at James, ignoring the growing smile on Remus' lips.

Ignoring Sirius, James slipped from the bed silently, glancing at Remus and keeping the covers around himself securely. Remus glanced between the two slowly, a smirk playing on his lips. "I hope you two didn't have so much fun that you won't be able to function in class today."

Sirius froze, having been in the process of slipping out of bed, and turned to give his friend a horror stricken look. "C…Classes…start today…?" He swallowed softly and flicked his eyes towards his trunk, in which was hidden the remnants of his shattered wand. At Remus' nod, he jumped out of bed quickly and ran over to his trunk, previous qualms about his nudity forgotten. Digging out the sparse remains of his splintered wand, he thrust them at his two friends. "I can't go to class with this!"

James whistled softly and nodded sympathetically, looking over the remains with a mixed expression on his face. "You've only got one choice really…" He moved towards his own trunk, pulling out a tightly wrapped bundle and passing it to Sirius. "Skip potions. We'll cover for you mate."

Nodding slowly, Sirius took the bundle from James and unwrapped it, pulling out a blank piece of parchment, which he held out to James. James pulled out his own wand and tapped the parchment reverently. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Lines burst from the tip of his wand and spread over the parchment quickly, forming the words "Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, & Prongs are proud to present The Marauders Map," before slipping under the folds and forming an accurate drawing of the castle with tiny dots running about, each labeled with their owner's name. Sirius grinned at James and took the map back, setting it aside carefully before unfolding the bundle the map had previously been wrapped in, revealing a cloak made of silky, shimmering fabric.

The raven haired boy grinned and dropped the cloak onto the bed long enough to pull on some clean robes, shoving his feet into his boots messily before picking up the cloak and sweeping it around his shoulders. Snatching up the map next to him, he offered his friends a quick grin and mouthed "See you later," before pulling the cloak over his head and slipping out of the room, set on his coarse to the nearest secret passage to Hogsmeade.

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Offering Professor Slughorn a sheepish grin, James slipped through the door to the dark dungeons classroom a good ten minutes behind the other students, having taken the time to see Sirius off and be sure his hair was messed appropriately to be seen in public with. He took his time strutting to his usual table, frowning deeply at the empty stool next to his, finally realizing the implications of Sirius' absence. Clearing his throat, he looked up at Professor Slughorn and swallowed, offering him another grin and shrugging helplessly. "It seems Sirius came down with a bug last night Professor, we told him to take the morning off…for he looked positively ill. Nasty purple spots all over his body and all."

Slughorn shot James an alarmed look, apparently wondering if the mysterious disease his friend had contracted was contagious, and if so, spread through human contact. Coughing gently, he cleared his throat and nodded, choosing not to question the boy any further. "Herm…yes…well apparently Mister Black is not the only student to have unexpectedly fallen ill last night, for Miss Evans appears to have no partner either. You two can work together today." With those words, he turned his rotund body around and shuffled to the front of the room, where he cleared his throat again and pointed his wand at the blackboard next to him, making a tidy list of ingredients for their next assigned potion appear.

James swallowed softly and glanced towards the red headed girl, offering her a small smile and shrinking back slightly as the full heat of her glare hit him. Fully expecting to have to work alone despite Slughorn's assignment, he sighed and slipped off his stool reluctantly, heading towards the front of the room to collect his ingredients from the student stores. He collected what he needed quickly and turned back determinedly, nearly dropping a jar of particularly nasty essence of mandrake root in his surprise at seeing Lily sitting on the empty stool at his table. Catching the jar at the last minute, he hurried over to the table and dropped the ingredients on its surface quickly. "W...What are you doing here?!"

Lily blinked and raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow slowly, flicking her brilliant red hair over her shoulder, finally shrugging at James exasperatedly. "Professor Slughorn told me to work with you Potter, so I don't see how I had any choice in the matter. If you'd please, I'd rather just get the stupid potion done so I can start ignoring you again." She rolled her eyes softly and pulled a cluster of bumble roots towards her, beginning to chop them aggressively. "I hate you now, you know."

The messy haired boy blinked stupidly at the fiery red head for a few moments before nodding slowly and narrowing his eyes, hiding the guilt swelling in his chest. "I think I can see that for myself, thank you Evans." Pulling out his wand, he pointed it at the base of the cauldron next to their table and ignited it, catching the hem of Peter's robes on fire in the process and forcing Professor Slughorn to jump from his boisterous appraisal of Snape's "perfect" potion in order to extinguish them.

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After stomaching a tediously long lecture about how to "properly ignite a cauldron," James crept out of the classroom and found himself hovering anxiously next to the one-eyed witch statue, having already decided to skip his next classes. He was about to turn tail and find Remus and Peter to join him in a hunt for their wayward friend when the witch's hump suddenly popped open, followed by a head of dark messy curls and Sirius' grinning face.

Sirius pulled himself out of the passage triumphantly, sliding his hand down and pulling a gleaming wand from his pocket and grinning wider. "Mission accomplished! I'm starved!"

James shook his head and grinned at his friends actions, walking over and grabbing Sirius' arm and pulling him towards the great hall and doors. He patted his pocket softly and smirked. "Already got you covered mate, we're clear for the entire afternoon, and I packed lunch."

Smirking, Sirius glanced down at James' pocket and shrugged, trying to make nothing of the hand on his arm. "A man after my own heart. Plenty of food and a day free of classes." He followed his mate outside eagerly, brushing past him to move quickly towards the tree that had somehow become "theirs" over the years. Yawning widely and stretching, he closed his eyes and plunked down on the grass under the tree's thick boughs and smacked his lips softly.

James grinned and shook his head, dropping down next to his friend. Staring over at Sirius, his expression darkened and he narrowed his eyes slightly. Crossing his arms, he glared at him. "I had to work with Lily because of you."

Raising his eyebrow slowly, Sirius stared at James carefully. "Oh, and how did that go?"

Narrowing his eyes further, James tightened his arms over his chest slowly. He swallowed and shrugged. "She bloody hates me Sirius…and she looked hurt…honest to Merlin…" He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning wearily against the tree. "Why did we do it?"

Sirius flinched slightly, swallowing and giving James a searching look. "Not…having any regrets are we?" He smiled gently and stared at James seriously. "We did it…because we wanted to." Scooting closer to his friend, he slid his hand onto his knee and rubbed it softly. He bravely leaned up and kissed James on the cheek, murmuring softly against him, "She'll get over it eventually…she always does."

James turned his head slightly and raised his eyebrow at Sirius. "This is Lily we're talking about Sir. Snivellus has a better chance of getting over it than she does." Despite his objections, he leaned into Sirius as he slipped his arms around him, shifting unconsciously so he was nestled between his strong legs.

Smiling slowly, Sirius stared down at the boy who had somehow found his way into his arms and leaned down, kissing his head tenderly. "She's not your problem anymore anyways James…you chose us remember?" He whispered, biting back a grin as he reached up to stroke the boy's messy hair from his face.

Nodding softly, James closed his eyes and smiled. "Your right Sirius…I chose you…" Swallowing gently, he pressed himself closer to the other boy and leaned up, pressing his lips firmly against Sirius' own. Sirius responded instantly, pressing down eagerly and kissing James fully, flicking his tongue teasingly along his bottom lip. Growling softly as James' lips parted, Sirius pressed his tongue into the warm crevice, slowly sliding his hands onto the front of his robes, undoing them slowly and smirking at the soft whimpers escaping James' lips.

The two boys shifted closer together, James sliding into Sirius' lap slowly and wrapping his arms around his neck, swirling his tongue eagerly around the other boy's. Sirius slid his hands lower slowly, finally pressing one eagerly shaking palm against the growing bulge in James' trousers. Smirking wider, he slid his tongue slowly over James' and murmured, "Your turn to be jerked off by a hand that isn't your own…"

James closed his eyes tighter and moaned softly, pressing up into Sirius' firm hand as the other boy undid the button and tugged down the zipper on his pants. Sliding his hand under the thin material of James' boxers, Sirius ran his fingers down his stiff member, stroking slowly. James moaned louder and louder, rocking his hips up stiffly at first, before relaxing under Sirius' touch and allowing himself to enjoy the new sensations. Closing his eyes tightly, he murmured huskily, "W…Why…does this feel…so good from you…?" He swallowed quickly and moaned louder, jerking his hips up violently as Sirius' hand began moving faster.

Smirking slowly and licking his lips, Sirius leaned down closer to James and captured the boy's lips with his own again. He murmured silkily, "I know what you like James…I know better than anyone…" Feeling James stiffen under his touch, he stroked faster and harder, sliding his hand up and massaging the base of the shaft under his hand, all the while rubbing the slit with his thumb. "Bloody come on James…"

Closing his eyes tightly and moaning louder than ever, James threw his head back hungrily and jerked his hips up harder, thrusting himself into Sirius' hand until he felt his muscles tighten and he spilled himself over the boy's hand, soiling his boxers in the process.

Sirius groaned loudly at the sticky mess now covering his hand, slipping it out of James' boxers to stare at it for a moment before pulling out his wand and murmuring a spell, cleaning both his hand and James' boxers in the process. Tucking his wand away, he glanced at the heavily breathing young man next to him and smirked slowly. Leaning down close to James, he whispered softly "So…about that food in your pockets…"


	13. Chapter 12

Where have I been!? Oh it's been decades since I've updated this fic.

I am truly and sincerely sorry for the years wait. I hit writers block for THAT long.

But, here it is, in all it's glory. Chapter 12, please, enjoy!

To be honest with you though, I'm not sure if this goes against T&C's.

It may be too graphic. It was originally meant for AFF.

If it is indeed too graphic, they can remove it and I will revise it.

-&-

His quill scribbled furiously across the parchment, after a long sigh he glanced up from his work. "Okay, tell it to me again Remus." James tried frantically to keep up with Remus as his words ebbed and flowed too quickly. "Good enough." He finished his work with a flourish and leaned back to exam his messy scrawl.

Tossing his book onto the floor, he yawned loudly and stretched. James glanced over at Sirius who was busy copying his homework from two of his admirers. "Done!" He signed his name messily and turned, watching James, not bothering to hide his admiration for the boy.

James rolled his eyes and tugged his tunic down. He lazily ran a hand through his unruly black hair, "Would it kill you to do your own homework, Sir?" James shot an appreciative glance towards Remus before shoving his homework into his bag.

Sliding the paper back towards the giggling girl, Sirius grinned slyly over at James."Why yes James, I believe it would! It's too much effort I could be using somewhere else," He smirked softly, watching as James' face turned pink. "Besides, I reword everything so it's basically the same as if I did it myself."

"Oh, I get it now," James rolled his eyes sarcastically. "I have to attend to a few things, I'll catch up with you later Remus." He shot Sirius a quick glance before slipping up towards the common room to grab a fresh towel.

"I think I'm going to go attend to a few things myself. Night Remus," Sirius offered Remus a light smile and ignored the knowing look on his friend's face. Kicking open the door, he dropped his bag and flopped down into the bed and continued to watch James.

James spun around and stared down at the curly haired boy. "What?" Sirius merely shrugged and closed his eyes. Padding over, James nudged himself between Sirius' thighs and watched him. "What is it?"

"Planning on having a bath?" He said gesturing to the fresh towel and clothes. He slid his arms around James waist cautiously. "I was thinking about it," he replied, grinning softly. "So if you'll excuse me." He began slipping from between his thighs when a hand caught him and pulled him back down.

"Excused... For now," he leaned up, kissing James softly on the lips, causing James to go weak against him. He tugged away again and made his way downstairs and towards the prefects' bathroom, Sirius' eyes never leaving him.

-&-

Leaning over his bed, Sirius dug around before snatching up a clean towel and fresh clothes. Draping them over his shoulder he followed James out, shaking his head at Remus as he grinned. "Don't even say anything Moony."

It didn't take Sirius long to catch up to James and he leaned casually against the door, silently watching his lover undress. James nipples were already hard in the cool air and he shivered as his tunic rubbed against his body as he pulled it off. Turning the knobs he stood and watched as Sirius' favorite bubbles poured from the tap.

He stepped back, tugging his jeans down slowly with his boxers. Standing naked, he shivered as a pair of arms slipped around his waist and a soft voice spoke next to his ear. "Those better be my favorite bubbles James Potter." Sirius laughed softly as James jumped slightly. Sliding his hand back, James slid it up to feel Sirius' face. He let out the breath he had been holding.

"Bloody hell Sirius." Sirius laughed again and nuzzled the side of James face gently. "Of course they are," he replied moments later. Reluctantly Sirius pulled away and stripped down. "Good boy James." He sunk down into the warm bath and flicked a few bubbles, watching them bounce away from his touch.

Another body splashed down beside his and James tilted his head back, closing his eyes. "Sirius?" The boy gave a soft grunt in reply. James turned to face Sirius, his face a nice shade of pink. "What do you taste like?"

Sirius blanched and sputtered. "How am I supposed to know?" He paused for a moment before smirking slowly. "Why don't you find out for yourself?" "Don't be a pervert Sirius," James retorted, embarrassed.

Sirius held his hands up defensively, "You're the one who asked James." Sirius snaked his arms around James underneath the water and pulled him closer. He stared down into James dark eyes and flipped his hair out of his face. "So are you going to find out or not?"

Bravely James leaned up, pressing his lips softly against Sirius'. But James pulled back immediately, breaking the kiss off shortly, much to Sirius' dismay. "Did you ever think it would be like this?" He pressed his forehead gently against Sirius' and closed his eyes.

Shaking his head, he mimicked James actions, closing his eyes and sliding his hand up to cup James' face "Only in my wildest dreams." He brushed a stray stand behind James' ear and listened to his laughter echo in the large room.

"You always knew Sirius. You always knew what you were, but I ..." he trailed off slowly and shook his head. He slipped into Sirius' lap and looped his arms around his neck before leaning up and kissing the boy with passion.

His arms instinctively wrapped around James' waist as he kissed back, his mind feeling dizzy. "Not always, but close to it." He grinned softly against the boys lips and pulled him closer against his body.

James shivered as Sirius nibbled on his lip, silently begging for entrance. A soft groan escaped James lips as they parted and grew in volume at the sudden sensations were taking control of his body. James found his hand gripping Sirius' hair tightly as their tongues battled for dominance.

Sirius could feel James squirming against him as his hands roamed over his hips and down his thighs. He was too busy memorizing the boy's body to hear James soft pleads. "S…Sirius," he moaned, breaking away from their kiss.

Pressing his head against Sirius' chest he listened to their heavy breathing. "J…James?" The boy nodded softly against his chest. Sirius reached up and stroked his hair slowly. "I... Want to take you." James jerked his head up fast and stared nervously into Sirius' eyes. "Y...You want to what…" his face blushed. He shifted uncomfortably in Sirius' lap.

"If you don't want to, we don't have to!" Sirius watched the boy's face anxiously. He could see James turning the idea over in his head. "Does it hurt?" James scrunched his face up in mock pain.

"I won't lie to you Prongs; I've never done it... So I don't really know." He could see James' face relax. "Promise to go slow?" Sirius couldn't help but smile as he leaned forward and kissed the boys lips tenderly. "Anything for you."

With that Sirius pressed James up against the edge of the tub, his breathing becoming uneven as anticipation raced through his body. Leaning over the boy he pressed his lips gently against the gasping boy's ear. "Do you trust me?" He caused a small moan to slip through his lips as he rubbed his body against James.

James nodded shakily, wrapping arms tightly around Sirius' shoulders. "I...I trust you Sirius Black." Sirius could feel James' body shaking underneath his as he slid his hands onto James hips to steady him. Sirius' lips trailed down onto his neck, kissing the tender skin, soothing the boy beneath him.

His hand trailed lower, down his spine, causing the boy to arch his back and shiver. His hand roamed over his pale smooth ass down to his gaping pucker. He brushed his fingers slowly over the pink hole. Sirius was jostled out of his thoughts as James gasped loudly, his pucker twitching.

Shakily Sirius reached out and grabbed his wand. "Do... Do you know the spell?" James turned his head slightly and stared up at the boy. He nodded slowly snatching up his own wand and muttering softly under his breath. He snapped his eyes shut tightly as the electricity ran through his body.

He pressed his forehead back against the edge of the tub and gripped it tightly with his hands. Sirius leaned back down and began to rub James hip with one hand while stroking his erection with the other. He pressed two fingers against the small hole, feeling how it clenched against them. Throaty moans began to escape his lips as he imagined what he'd do to the boy.

Pressing the head of his cock against James, he pressed down tightly against the boy. "I'll try to go slow..." Slowly, but eagerly, he began to push inside of the boy. Suddenly, James was exploding with so many different sensations. Pain, mixed with pleasure, mixed with some other feeling he couldn't quite place.

"Relax James, it will go in easier if you just relax," Sirius grunted as he forced his way inside of the boy. Suddenly James cried out and gripped the edge of the tub tighter. "R...Relax!? I… it bloody hurts! Y…You try having a bloody cock up your arse!"

Laughter filled the room and he pressed himself tighter against James. "Try for me?" He whispered softly against his hot skin. Sirius had stopped moving inside of James, giving him time to adjust. They listened to each others breathing before James began to rock his hips back slowly.

"B…Bloody hell m...move Sirius!" With that, Sirius gripped James hip tightly and began to pull out slowly before pressing back in all the way causing James to moan out loudly. He curled his toes tightly under the water as the pleasure washed over his body. Rhythmically he rocked his hips back as Sirius continued to thrust into him, his own moans echoing around the room.

Their moans and heavy breathing filled the area as names rolled off tongues in sweet simple moans. With each thrust James felt as if he was going to be pushed over the edge, but when Sirius' cock began rocking against a certain spot inside of him he could see bright lights behind his eyes.

Both their bodies shook as their passion continued to race on. Sirius kept driving against the spot causing James to shudder violently as his orgasm overcame him. "S...Sirius!!" His names tumbled from his lips as he emptied himself all over the side of the tub. That's all it took for Sirius to follow suit. Snapping his eyes shut tightly he emptied himself inside of James.

They lay there, against the tub, breathing heavily. The room was silent for what felt like an eternity. It was over as soon as it began. "I...I couldn't hold it back..." James flushed bright red and shifted as Sirius slowly pulled out of him. Sweat glistened on his chest and his breathing slowly evened out.

Sirius pushes off the edge and began floating on his back. "You'll probably have a sore arse tomorrow." He chuckled gently to himself as James glared at him. He sighed while lifting himself out of the tub and headed towards his towel. "Sirius, if you stay in that water you'll turn all wrinkly."

Grudgingly he lifted himself up and draped the towel around his waist. He softly cursed under his breath, "It's after hours." They tore from the prefects' bathroom, peeking around corners in search of potential attackers. James glanced behind to make sure Sirius was following and tried to contain his laughter. "Your towel is slipping."

He tugged his towel up quickly with his free hand while still holding onto James' hand. They stumbled back into the common room, thankful that it was empty. They turned slowly towards their dorms and blanched, the room wasn't so empty after all.

"Did you two have fun?" Remus smiled, setting his book aside. They stood their gawking at him and Sirius smiled innocently. "Hello Moony! Out for a moonlit stroll?" Remus rolled his eyes and followed the boys up to the dormitory. "Did you wait up Remus?" James said, slipping down into the comforts of his bed.

Dropping his towel, Sirius clambered into bed beside James and pressed himself tightly against the boy, not waiting for permission. "Remus, you dork." James chuckled gently. "Our Remus, the king of nerds." Remus scoffed gently and went back to ignoring the boys.

"Do you mind me sleeping here?" James was slowly drifting in and out of consciousness. "Not at all Padfoot, not at all."

-&-

Stay tuned for chapter 13!


	14. Chapter 13

An earlier post than last time me thinks.

It's been over a year and a half since I started writing this, and I'm getting close enough to the end that I can taste it. This will go through chapter seventeen and its done!

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through sporadic, sometimes unexpected and random updates. This will be finished, I promise!

Also…the next chapter shouldn't be expected until sometime in August at least, as I'm going on a vacation in the end of July.

-&-

Twirling a thin, pale finger through her bright red hair, Lily looked up at the messy haired boy leaning down next to her at the table from under her lashes. "Explain it again James…is it like this?" Picking up her quill, she drew a diagram slowly, adding an extra swirl on purpose and biting her lip hopefully.

James smiled gently and shook his head, reaching down and plucking the quill from her fingers. "No Lily, listen; Remus explained it quite clearly. This is what you do" Leaning over her, he let her place her hand on the quill under his own and began guiding her through the drawing, leaving out the extra curling flourish at the end. "Now try it yourself."

Lily took the quill back and gave James a calculating look, smiling gently to herself before placing the tip to parchment and drawing the diagram, replicating the mistake she had made before perfectly and smiling up at James brightly. James laughed and shook his head. "Maybe I should ask Remus to teach you…he's much better at this kind of stuff." Pouting gently, Lily dropped the quill and scooted closer, parting her lips softly and giving him her most innocently seductive look. "I would much rather you keep trying James…you understand me better…"

Blinking softly, James cleared his throat and nodded slowly. "Erm…alright then…let's move on to the next incantation at least, this one seems a bit…hopeless…"

-&-

Yawning softly, Sirius rolled over and shifted slightly, pressing his face into-nothing. Blinking blearily, he opened his eyes slowly and stared at the empty hollow where his lover had previously been sleeping in confusion. "James..?" He sat up slowly, looking towards James' bed and finding nothing. Running his fingers through his hair messily, Sirius slid his legs off the edge of the bed and padded over to his trunk, pulling clothes out slowly and dressing himself, running through a list of possible places his lover could be hiding.

-&-

James moved closer to Lily, reaching up to pluck an imaginary bit of fluff from her brilliant red locks, letting his hand linger a little longer than necessary on the flaming hair. Shifting slightly, he let his leg move so his knee brushed against Lily's, all the while staring at her with adoring eyes. Lily glanced up from her work every few moments, giving one of her customary sweet smiles and fluttering her eyelashes softly, enjoying the quiet flirting as much as he was.

-&-

Yawning widely, Sirius stepped into his large black boots and clumped out of the room without bothering to tie them, pounding down the stairs noisily and pushing into the common rooms. Blinking blearily at the sudden light of the more open room, he looked around slowly for James and, spotting the familiar dark hair across the room, switched direction and hurried over.

As he got closer, Sirius was presented with a rather uncomfortable sight. James was indeed sitting at the table he had spotted him at, but he was not alone. Lily Evans sat next to him, by this point practically in his lap, and the two teenagers were staring into each others eyes in a manner that reminded Sirius very much of two love struck puppy dogs. James was running a hand through his hair slowly, his eyes fixed on Lily, who was twirling a lock of her bright hair between her fingers, lips parted slightly.

Swallowing angrily, Sirius looked around the room quickly and, spotting a leftover ratty notebook on one of the tables, snatched it up and tossed it at the back of James' head before whirling around and storming out of the room, fuming.

-&-

Snapping his attention away from Lily's brilliant green eyes at the sudden slamming of the portrait, James turned just in time to see a flash of curly dark hair and a thick soled boot disappearing through the hole. Cursing softly, he threw an apologetic look to Lily and stood up, hurrying to the portrait and slipping through after Sirius.

He caught up with him at the end of the corridor leading to the Gryffindor tower, reaching out and catching his arm as Sirius was about to enter a secret passage the two had discovered that led directly to a clearing in the Forbidden Forest. Grabbing Sirius' arm, James whirled him around to face him and glared down at him gently. "What the bloody hell was that about, storming out of the commons like that? You'd think a bee flew in your bonnet with how fast you left…"

Sirius whirled towards James, his grey eyes glinting with anger as he jerked his arm out of his lovers' grip. "Perhaps because there _is_ a bee in my bonnet James Potter, and her name is Lily fucking Evans!" James blinked and took a step back, staring at Sirius in confusion. "What did Lily ever do to you Sirius...?"

"She was _born,_ that's what!" Glaring at James furiously, Sirius crossed his arms. "Don't tell me you don't see anything wrong with the fact that you were _all over each other five minutes ago!"_

James shot a confused look at Sirius. "All over each other? Sirius…Lily was just talking to me…about how she's used to the idea of you and me together! Lily and I are friends now…just friends!"

Rolling his eyes, Sirius glared harder and turned his face away to keep James from seeing the threatening tears glistening at the corner of his eyes. "I might have believed that before James…but after seeing the way you were looking at that wench, I don't now." He turned slowly to face James, narrowing his glittering eyes slowly. "I'm tired of playing games…it's either me or her James Potter."

The messy haired boy standing rigidly in front of Sirius' shoulders sagged, and he flinched back visibly, turning hurt eyes on his curly haired lover. He opened his mouth to speak, closing it with an audible snap. Swallowing slowly, James turned from Sirius and slipped past him silently, headed for the door to the passage he had just stopped Sirius from entering. Turning back to his friend, he said softly, "Perhaps I choose neither Sirius." With those words, he turned silently and stepped through the door, leaving a gaping Sirius staring after him.

-&-

James still wasn't back. It had been hours since Sirius had exploded at him…and he was still absent, at least from the commons where Sirius waited for his return. Pacing from one room to the other, Sirius narrowed his eyes at the look Remus was giving him and changed direction, heading for the portrait hole. "Alright, you've got me! I'll go find him." Grumbling softly, he slipped out of the hole and headed for the passage he had last seen James go down, deciding to take a chance that his stray lover had fallen asleep in the clearing.

As he walked, Sirius considered the situation from earlier that had caused problems between him and James in the first place, deciding that he may have been overreacting. He shook his head softly and grinned to himself. "Jealous of a bloody girl...get a hold of yourself Sirius. James is with you now."

Sirius crawled out of the tunnel at the end of the passage, stopping in the crowd of bushes separating himself from the clearing. If James were still there…he needed a plan to approach him, as he would likely still be pissed. With this in mind, Sirius lifted his head and parted the branches of a bush, peeking through them into the clearing right as a soft, feminine moan split the silence.

Nestled in the grass in the middle of the clearing, two partially clothed figures withered and rubbed, panting and moaning in the throes of passion only a few feet from where Sirius crouched. Red hair mingled with messy black, a deeply tanned muscled chest pressed against a soft, pale breast. Both sets of eyes were closed with ecstasy, both blissfully unaware of the gaping audience they had acquired.

Sirius felt as if he had lost his heart. His mind was fuzzy, telling him not to believe what he was without doubt seeing before his very eyes. His James…he felt the world sink a notch, knowing the fantasies he'd had from the beginning were suddenly lost to him. His mouth opened unconsciously, and a strangled gasp escaped, enough to snap James out of his stupor long enough to look up in Sirius' direction. Their eyes met, and Sirius felt his world fall apart completely. Without another sound, he turned back the way he came, refusing to look back at the couple who continued as if nothing had happened.


	15. Chapter 14

He awoke in an unfamiliar room. The curtains around his bed were foreign; black and grey instead of deep maroon and gold. The room itself was dark expect for a few beams of sunlight streaming in through blinds, casting shadows on the floor that looked a lot like jail cell bars. It had seemed the room had fitted itself to fit Sirius Black's present mood. The days that had passed by seemed like weeks to Sirius as he staggered into the bathroom. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair tousled in every direction.

"If James was still here, he could fix this hair-" He stopped abruptly once realizing what he was saying. He hadn't spoken to James in days. Seven years of friendship had been lost within a matter of seconds. Sirius sighed and dropped next to his trunk. James had always been stubborn, but it had taken Sirius seven years to realize he was also as thick as a piece of wood sometimes. Of course Sirius knew it was dangerous to fall in love with his best mate, but you can't tell the heart who to love.

So, it was within this, that Sirius had to realize that perhaps James really did love Lily, deep down inside of himself, James truly wanted to be with Lily; and that deep down inside of Sirius, he loved James too much not to let him be happy the way James wanted to be happy. Pulling away from his trunk, he held the maroon robes against his body. Maroon was defiantly not his color.

Grudgingly he pulled the robes over his head and surveyed his reflection. It would have to do. In less than twenty-four hours he would be a free man; although, it didn't feel as liberating to Sirius as it should have.

"This is it..."

He could barely stop his heart from fluttering as he made his way up towards the ceremony knowing exactly who would be there.

-&-

It was nearing noon by the time James had begun to stir. His eyes fluttered and he stared up at the grinning sandy haired boy hovering over him. "Morning Rem. Exciting for graduation or are you just happy to see me?" He grinned and covered his head as Remus threw a pillow in his direction.

"Is Peter up? What about Sir-" He stopped short and glanced away from Remus' knowing eyes. "Is breakfast ready for us?"

Remus sighed and shot James another look. "It's noon James, you don't have time to eat. Hurry up and get dressed, the ceremony will start soon." His stomach rumbled in protest as he watched the boy disappear out the door before jumping out of bed and snatching his graduation robes. Breakfast would have to wait.

He didn't mind the maroon robes, especially knowing how Lily would look in them. Besides, the robes looked a lot better than his hair did. Jumping slightly at a noise behind him, he turned around, expecting to find Sirius, but his eyes fell upon the bright red haired girl instead.

"Your hair is an absolute mess James." She reached up and began fiddling with the raven locks. Smiling up at him she wrapped her arms around his neck. "This is it.." she said against his ear. He nodded softly against her, feeling his nerves melt away.

-&-

It didn't take Sirius long to locate James, the way he was standing as stiff as a board, afraid to move an inch. He took his place beside the boy and stood just as still. The silence between the them grew as more graduating students found their places.

"Sirius, can we talk for a minute? Just for a minute," James said still staring straight ahead. Everyone fell silent as Dumbledore stepped up to the podium to give his speech. It was the same every year, wishing the students who were moving on the best in life.

"I'm listening." He couldn't help his voice from cracking at the end. It was a habit for Sirius to fidget when he was nervous. As casual as possible he started to tug the loose thread hanging from his gown.

" I.. Uh.. I wanted to.. I wanted to apologize.. but not really apologize. What I mean to say is.. Well, what I was hoping to tell you is that uh.." he was vaguely aware he was stammering.

Sirius was growing impatient with every broken sentence that fell from James' lips. "James, quit blubbering and spit it out." He kept the stony expression on his face, forcing his emotions back. "Well, what is it?"

Swallowing his pride James turned to face him. "Lily was right Sirius. Two boys... Two boys don't fall in love. It just doesn't work like that. I know you're going to find some girl who really makes you happy Sirius. Please don't give up hope, she's out there."

They both stared at each other, silent and as still as stone statues. Narrowing his eyes into slits, Sirius took another step closer to James. "It's nice to see Evans still has you as her lapdog James. It's been what? A bloody week and she's already got you wrapped around her finger. You know something, I would have forgiven you if you were just my boyfriend, but you were also my best friend James! I don't know who you're trying to fool but I like boys. I'm queer. I like dick. And the way you were moaning underneath me, I was pretty sure you did too.

"I will never stop wanting you. I will never stop caring about you, and perhaps someday you'll stop making a fool of yourself and realize your whole life with her has been a lie. Maybe you'll realize that you could have been bloody happy if you had just followed your heart instead of tagging after that bitch like some lost puppy."

The words had stung him, like pouring salt into open wounds. "Lily said you'd say something like that," James muttered, staring at his feet.

The people around them jumped, startled as the laughter erupted from the curly haired boy. "It's worse than I thought!" He choked out during chuckles. "James Fucking Potter, leader of this school is listening to his girlfriend. Hanging onto her every word!" His laughter slowly subsided. "I don't even know you anymore Potter."

"You're a bloody git, Black! No wonder no one truly loves you. Have you told your fan base that you like the cock, huh?" The smirk that plastered the boy's face made Sirius unsure of whether he wanted to punch or kiss him.

"Oh yeah, I told them. The same way you told your little girlfriend you like to take it up the arse. Bet she loved that one. Her big, strong boyfriend on his knees taking it up the arse like a man." It was Sirius' turn to smirk as James looked absolutely horrified.

He could barely breath, let alone talk. Sirius was talking so loudly, anybody could hear them. "You bite your tongue Sirius Black." "You know you loved it. The way you practically begged me to take you. You're going to think back on life wishing you still had my dick up your arse. You can't deny who you are Potter, no matter how hard you try."

"I never begged you to do anything Black! It might as well had been rape! I'm not a faggot, I never have been, but, I hear Snivellus is free and single. He's right up your alley." Before he could get another word out he was eye level to Sirius.

"You take that back Potter, or I swear..."

Laughing loudly James stared him down. "Or you'll what Black? Kiss me the like the little fairy you are?

Quirking his eyebrow, Sirius stared at the boy in his grip. "I'll do you one better Potter." Suddenly James was stumbling back, gripping his jaw tightly. He stared in shock at the boy. "You...You hit me.."

"Happy graduation," Sirius replied, throwing his hat into the air with the crowd before pushing his way through the crowd and disappearing.


	16. Chapter 15

_And so…with those few simple, angry words, our friendship, the best in all of Hogwarts history…ended, and with it, a chapter of my life. I haven't spoken to James Potter since that day, those five years ago. I like to tell myself that I never wish to, but that's a lie. Still now…I write him letters, telling him how my life has changed, and how I wish he were with me to share the memories. I never send these letters…they're all in this journal, cataloged by date and circumstance, never to be read by the one I loved and lost. I, Sirius Black, will never marry, will forever be a single, lonely gay man, and I am fine with that. I learned a lesson from James Potter, and that is that no matter how certain you may be about the future, it is best to be prepared for tragedy to come your way. _

Sirius closed the journal with a nod of finality and leaned back, closing his eyes softly. He had been writing for days it seemed, but when he finally opened his eyes and glanced at the clock, he realized that miraculously, only an hour had passed. Giving the journal a sad, longing look, he stood up and stretched slowly, mumbling softly to himself, "How slow time passes without you…"

As if answering his lonely words, the chime of the doorbell rang throughout the house, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts. Blinking gently, he walked to the door, frowning, and opened it slowly. "Peter I just sent you home-"

"Good evening Sir or Madam, I'm sorry to bother you, I must have the wrong house." Sirius blinked at the cloaked figure that had just spoken, daring his heart to stop trying to jump out of his chest at the deeper, but still familiar voice. "James…what are you doing here…"

-&-

Shifting slightly on the damp couch, James poked at a hole in the blanket covering his lap, swallowing gently before raising his eyes to stare across the room at the curly haired, worn looking man slaving over the tea kettle. "I…was almost hoping that I had the wrong address…"

Sirius poured two steaming mugs of hot water and added tea bags, risking a quick look up to survey his unexpected guest before picking up both cups and carrying them into the living room. Handing one to James, he shrugged and shook his head softly. "No…it's the right address obviously. How you got it…I've no idea. I'm unlisted."

James chuckled nervously and sipped his tea. "Good thing Peter isn't then, isn't it?" Sirius snorted noncommittally and shrugged. "Isn't Lily going to be worried with you out in the rain this late?"

"I'm…not with Lily, actually. I haven't been since after we left Hogwarts." James smiled bitterly. "She got accepted into some wizarding college hours away, ran off and married some other bloke."

Blinking softly at the revelation, Sirius turned to look at James curiously. "If you haven't been with Lily all this time…what _have_ you been doing?" Shrugging softly, James gave Sirius a hopeful look. "Working at the Ministry and trying to move on, honestly…from both of you. Sadly, it doesn't seem to have worked…after five years of wondering what the hell happened to you, I figured enough was enough, and here I am." He paused and smiled slightly. "I missed you Sirius…you were my best mate and well, I'm sad that it had to end how it did. I…think I want to try it again, if that's alright."

A bit taken back by James' rather rehearsed sounding speech, Sirius lifted his gaze from his tea cup and surveyed the man carefully. His fun loving best mate from five years past was still there in some ways, in the laugh lines beginning to form around his honest brown eyes and softly smiling mouth, and the messy hair starting to reform into a nest as it dried on his head. However, in other ways, the James Potter he once knew was gone: there was a worried set to the eyes, sad and haunted, that wasn't there before, and the man's hands had a worn, callused appearance that comes only from working hard for years, something the spoiled rich boy had never had to do back in their school days. Shaking his head gently, he lowered his gaze back to the warm brew in his hands. "I won't try to lie and tell you I'm not happy to see you James, because I am…" He held up his hand as the other man opened his mouth to speak. "However…I can't imagine how you'd think things would be the same immediately after five years of not speaking." He lifted his gaze and stared into the soft brown eyes that used to haunt him so relentlessly and swallowed any fear he once had of continuing with his words. "I…was broken after we left Hogwarts…everything I had ever hoped for was gone. I had lost you…lost my best mate, and my lover…to a red headed tart that didn't love you for who you were…but for who she could possibly make you to be. I…I could have loved you for who you were, I _did_ love you for being James…that's what made me like you so much in the first place: you didn't bullshit for anyone, until Lily came around. Point is…I loved you…and I've spent five years writing you letters that you'll never read, hoping to all hope that you'll come find me and tell me it was all a big mistake. Only…now you have, and I don't know what to do with you…"

There was a long moment of silence, Sirius having trailed off into staring at his teacup again, and James sitting frozen in place, simply staring at the beaten, worn down version of his old best mate in front of him, still in shock from that burst of words that seemed to have come from some place deep inside the man, bottled up and brewing for years until that moments when it was time to pour them out. He blinked softly, swallowed, and forced a slight smile on his face, raising himself to stare into Sirius' eyes bravely. "Well…for starters…you can offer me a room here, if you have one. I can't say I fancy driving twelve hours back home defeated…"

-&-

Gasp! An author's note at the end of the page!

There isn't much to say here, except that I am officially one chapter away from the end folks. There will most likely be no sequel to this for obvious reasons, but stay in touch for the end and some possible hints for a new project I may be starting!

Thank you all for sticking with me this far, here's to finishing with a bang!

New (and last) chapter should be up soon!


	17. Chapter 16

_It has been such a pleasure writing The Stag and the Hound._

It's taken me a year, but the end is finally here.

As sad as I am to see the end, I'm happy to move onto new and exciting projects.

I never could have done it without my readers, thank you all so much!

Please, enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

-&-

It was as if the past five years didn't even matter as he led James down the hallway. The silence between them was oddly comforting. What did you say to the man who left you in pieces the last time you saw him? It was hard to be angry when his heart just couldn't let go. Oh, he tried for five years to forget about him, but it was harder now that he was here, in person.

"I hope this is alright for you. I wasn't expecting company." James tightened the blanket around his naked body and nodded once. "This is fine." They stood there awkwardly, neither quite knowing what to say.

"I didn't expect you to put me up for the night. I mean... It's you, and it's me. It's us." The lightning flash illuminated his sullen face. He looked tired, like he had traveled a great distance instead of just twelve hours. Sinking onto the bed, he began to fiddle with the small hole in the blanket. "I really appreciate what you're doing for me. I know I don't deserve it. I just had to see you for myself. I had to know..."

"Had to know what James? If I was still alive? If I moved on? If I was dying without you?"

"All of it, yes." Slowly lifting his head, James braced himself for what he'd find in Sirius' eyes. "I had to know if you succeeded in life. If you are happier now than you could have been. I didn't come here to intrude in your life Sirius..." He trailed off, unsure of what to say next. "Am I intruding?"

Was he? It wasn't as if Sirius had kicked him out of his house. It was true what they say, time heals all wounds. He wasn't as mad at James as he first thought. Although, still hurt, he could not hold a grudge for over five years.

"No. You're welcome to spend the night. It's raining out pretty badly." As if to emphasize his point, the thunder boomed causing James to jump.

"Where did you go after Hogwarts Sirius? I tried to get in contact with you before but..." His words were heavy with regret.

It was going to be a long night, Sirius knew, as he slid down beside James. "It's nothing as exciting as I hoped it would be. I thought getting out of Hogwarts would mean having an adventure. I found myself broke, alone, and unable to keep a steady job. I tried everything. I tried working in the ministry, they wouldn't hear anything of it after the accident I had. I tried getting a job in curse breaking, but... things didn't turn out."

"I got a job at Hogs' Head bartending. I've been working there for some time, trying to make ends meet." James watched him cringe, both knowing how glamorous that job was. "I get to watch other lonely and depressed people, so I don't feel as lonely and depressed."

He was suddenly aware of James' warm body pressed gently against his back. "I made you feel that way didn't I? Lonely and depressed." His breath was hot against the back of Sirius' neck, sending shivers up and down his spine.

His body tensed, his mind racing. Pulling away from James he turned to stare him in the eyes. "Yes, you did."

James could feel the sting of the boy's words and he slumped, defeated. "I kind of figured. I was an arse to you Sirius; I know that now. I was hoping for a second chance..." Harsh laughter echoed in James' ears. "A second chance? You want a bloody second chance after the things you said? After the things you _did._ Five bloody years James."

Holding up his hands defensively, James hung his head in shame. "I know! I know. It was foolish of me to come here expecting things would be different. But I'm still James, and you're still Sirius... And we still feel the same as we did back then..."

"How can you say it so casually? That was five years ago. I feel like we're walking in circles here. How can you say you still feel the same after you bloody left me for some broad? You've always been so stubborn, but this James, don't screw around with me."

Stunned and shocked, James stared into the worn out eyes of his best friend. "I'm not screwing around with you Sirius! You bloody said it yourself, 'One day you'll realize your whole life with her has been a lie.' What do you think I did? I realized I was making a mistake."

"Before or after she left you?" Sirius shot a pointed look at James. "It's a little to late don't you think? I've been this way for five years because you were too stupid, too stubborn to see what could have been. Tell me something James. Would you be here today if Lily had never left you first?"

It took James a while to register the question he was being asked. "Yes Sirius, I would still be here today. I constantly thought about you, and not just a worried or a passing thought. I thought about your smile, I thought about the way your hair sticks up all over; your laugh, the way your eyes shine when you're happy..." He trailed off, feeling like a love sick puppy. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, "What I mean to say is that, I should have come and found you earlier. I should have tried harder. But I was afraid this would happen. I was afraid you'd reject me like I did to you... I wasn't sure I could handle it… Now, I don't know why I came back. " He closed his eyes, his hours of travel finally catching up to him. He was tired and could feel the life draining from his body. "I thought maybe... maybe just showing up would be enough."

Sirius watched as James closed his eyes and lay there, his chest rising and falling as if he were asleep. A small, sad smile danced on Sirius' lips as he stared at the man. He truly was James Potter, the boy he fell in love with when they were young. Nothing had really changed about him. He was as foolish and as stubborn as ever.

Reaching over, he tucked the blankets around the man, allowing him to sleep and dream peacefully. Tomorrow would be another day, and James would be there to endure it.

-&-

The lightning continued to light up the dark sky; the thunder boomed loudly, causing the house to creak and shake. Somewhere in his half consciousness, he felt the bed sink beside him and a warm body press against his. "Sirius, are you awake?" Sirius grunted in reply, keeping his eyes closed.

"I don't like the thunder, it's so loud. Remember when my house used to rattle and shake whenever it stormed?" He could feel the grown man trembling slightly beside him. That was all it took for Sirius to reach out and pull James close against his chest. Just like old times, he thought. Because after all, old habits die hard, and you can't tell the heart who to love.

-&-

End


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